What Am I Going to Do Now?

•October 29, 2014 • 20 Comments
Okay. Now that's over, what do we do?

Okay. Now that’s over, what do we do?

I did it.

Two years of hard work and now it’s over.

My novel, Never Turn Back, no longer needs me.

Well, it kind of does. I have to remind people that it’s worth reading.

I don't care about that banana cream pie. This new novel by Lorna Lee is just too good to put down.

I don’t care about that banana cream pie. This new novel by Lorna Lee is just too good to put down.

But I’m finished fussing with it.

So here’s the scoop.

Never Turn Back, Kindle Version

I noticed some typos and general irritating gaffes. I fixed them.

I cleaned 'er up real good, Honey,

I cleaned ‘er up real good, Honey,

If you already own a copy, simply go back to your Amazon account to the area where you manage your Kindle and download it again.

The download is FREE.

I can’t guarantee that you won’t find a few silly errors, but this version is a much cleaner copy.

Never Turn Back, Paperback Version

The best way to find the paperback in the US is to click here.

If you live anywhere else, go to your country’s Amazon page and search using both the title and my name (Lorna Lee).

Both the e-book and the paperback version will appear. Select the paperback and you’re on your way.

The reason I’m telling you this is because I was informed that the links I provided for the e-book in the UK and France did not work.

I don’t want to disgruntle you with bad links.

I don’t want to disgruntle you at all.

I know that look. You know that look. Let's avoid that look.

I know that look. You know that look. Let’s avoid that look.

Another Impressed Reader–5 Star Review

“Well crafted and interesting story of a girl who moves through her life with her fair share of trauma and suffering but instead of it breaking her, she raises to the occasion to survive and that she does.

This is a story of a woman with strength, courage, and a deep heart, who shows us what’s possibly when our hearts are wounded but our strength carries us through to that brighter day, the light at the end of the tunnel. Lovely dialogue and scenes move this poignant story along through to the end.” Reader with the handle “Mr.”

He could be "Mr."

He could be “Mr.” Thanks, Mister!

I was also speaking with a friend who is reading the book. She asked me which parts of the novel were real and which were fiction.

To me, she gave me one of the highest compliments I could get. That means my mind created complex fictional people and events. This is my first time writing fiction. Maybe there’s a future in it for me?

Which leads me to my question, what am I going to do now?

I think you should help me decide.

 

Please vote. It will be good practice for Nov. 4th.

Just the Facts, Ma’am, not the Fear

•October 28, 2014 • 16 Comments

 

Just give me the good news. I can't take the bad stuff unless I get some major candy with it.

Just give me the good news. I can’t take the bad stuff unless I get some major candy with it.

Are you sick of hearing about Ebola?

I know it’s a scary disease and a real problem around in the southern hemisphere (which apparently includes Texas), but more people die waiting for the cable guy to show up than of Ebola.

I made that up, but it might be true. Waiting for the cable guy IS stressful and may lead to some pretty fatal consequences.

Okay. That's stressful.

Okay. That’s stressful.

But you get my drift. And I am drifting.

Here are some real news stories you may not have heard about because ebola has all the news stations chasing any plague-like story like Lassie chased Timmy’s parents when he kept getting himself lost, stuck, or in some kind of messy jam (not the strawberry Smuckers kind).

Timmy, how many times do I have to tell you not to sit on the edge of things. You know this isn't going to end well for you.

Timmy, how many times do I have to tell you not to sit on the edge of things. You know this isn’t going to end well for you.

Pizza driver gets $1,268 tip at college chapel. Marion, Illinois. 10/10 (UPI). James Gilpin, a Domino’s delivery driver, was brought on stage when he arrived to Indiana Wesleyan University’s chapel with the two pizzas — totaling $12.50 — and he was awarded the $1,268 cash tip plus $70 in gift cards. The Bible studies class was doing a lesson on generosity. Gilpin plans to use the money to buy his children lots of toys for Christmas. He was deeply moved, remains a devout agnostic, and hovers by the phone hoping that the chapel orders more pizza. But they probably moved on to a lesson about honesty and he’ll get an ear-full about what they think of Domino Pizza.

Maybe if I don't spend the whole tip on the kids, I can afford a moped to haul my cart around. Nah, the kid's already sent their list to Santa and it took extra postage.

Maybe if I don’t spend whole the tip on the kids, I can afford a moped to haul my cart around. Nah, the kid’s already sent their list to Santa and it took extra postage.

UFO Conference Suggests Bigfoot Could be an Alien. Pittsburgh, PA. 10/8 (UPI). Fred Saluga, West Virginia state director and Pennsylvania regional director for the Mutual UFO Network, said the group’s seventh annual Pittsburgh UFO-Creature Conference will feature a “Bigfoot and Mysterious Creatures” presentation questioning whether the legendary Sasquatch could be a visitor from another world. Really? The Mutual UFO Network? Why Pennsylvania? Because Fayette County, Pa., is a hotbed of reported Bigfoot activity. What else is there to do but make quilts and search for large hairy beasts in those bucolic foothills? In other news, Star Wars Convention Suggests Bigfoot Could be an Ewock. George Lucas Keynote speaker. Somehow that makes for sense.

Yo! I just, um, landed, and could sure use a smoke.

Yo! I just, um, landed, and could sure use a smoke. Or a role in a major motion picture franchise. What? I’m a few decades too late. Shizzle!

 

100 Pair of Pants Rip at Chinese Military Event. WUHAN, China, 10/6 (UPI) – A Chinese military reserve training session was interrupted when the reservists were told to sit down and more than 100 pairs of pants ripped simultaneously. Well, the Chinese are known for their precision. And skinny jeans/military pants. In related news, the exact thing happened at a 6:00 p.m. Toledo, Ohio Weight Watcher’s meeting. The WW’ers were planning on going out to Applebee’s for a quick bite after their meeting, but had to cancel because not all of them were wearing long tunics, sweaters, or coats.

The Toledo Tootsies agree unanimously after the pants seam blow-out debacle that: 1. there's is a chair-optional meeting; 2. loose skirts never go out of fashion; and 3. Pizza Hut is their after meeting haunt due to the salad bar which they could theoretically order.

The Toledo Tootsies (Kennith objects to the name of the group, but his wife, Flo, made him join, anyway) agree unanimously after the pants-seam blow-out debacle that: 1. they have a chair-optional meeting; 2. loose skirts never go out of fashion (again, Kenneth objects, but Flo put her foot down and Ken’s limping pretty bad); and 3. Pizza Hut is their new after meeting haunt due to the salad bar which they could theoretically order.

Now, wasn’t that a nice break from all the scary news bombarding us 24-7?

If you want to read more odd news stories, go to Snopes. That’s where I got these news stories. Plus they offer So much more. They’re my go-to fact-checker source.

Scrappy is on the job helping the Divine Ms. L. keep up with all the news that fit to print.

Hey! I thought I was your go-to-fact-checker, helping you keep up with all the news that fit to print.

Just remember, while the stories and most of the facts are true, I made some stuff up to be silly.

right?

That’s why you can’t resist me, right?

What do you think makes my your blog irresistible?

 

 

Just When You Think the News Couldn’t Get Any Worse…

•October 24, 2014 • 22 Comments
Maybe I watched too much TV news when I was a kid and got punished for it, so now I'm just reliving the haunting memories. All's I know is I am majorly news-averse.

Maybe I watched too much TV news when I was a kid and got punished for it, so now I’m just reliving the haunting memories. All’s I know is I am majorly news-averse.

Most of you know that I do my best to avoid mainstream news.

It depresses me.

Like I need that right now…

You know thing are getting rough for me when I start using images of Lucille Ball rather than Marilyn Monroe or Princess Di. I need help, People!

You know thing are getting rough for me when I start using images of Lucille Ball and not Marilyn Monroe or Princess Di. I need help, People!

Well, I just saw this (while taking a break from fixing my book) and had to share it with you.

Maybe it will give you a bit of perspective on what “disaster” really means.

Maybe it won’t.

At the very least, it might make you laugh. And that’s worth the look-see.

For those of you not familiar with The Onion, it is the finest news source ever. Don’t take my word for it–that’s their slogan.

Have a great weekend, People!

What are your plans? I’m finishing up my book fixes so I never have to read my novel again!

I love the novel, don't get me wrong, but I'm at the point where I think I can recite it.

I love the novel, don’t get me wrong, but I’m at the point where I think I can recite it. In my sleep.

The Trick is Knowing When Enough is Enough

•October 22, 2014 • 26 Comments
Magic. Housework. None of it works for me.

Magic tricks. Housework. None of it works for me.

I’ve never been particularly good at magic or tricks.

With me, what you see is what you get.

The jury is still out on whether that’s always such a good thing.

Never trust an honest woman. She's playing you for a fool! A fool, I say!

Never trust an honest woman. She’s playing you for a fool! A fool, I say! Can’t we at least all agree on that?

Anyway, if the trick is knowing when “enough is enough,” I’m sunk.

This is my round-about way of telling you that my plate platter table is filling up faster than a Thanksgiving feast at the White House.

Where's the casserole with the mini-marshmallows and sweet potatoes? I need my vitamin A.

Where’s the casserole with the mini-marshmallows and sweet potatoes? I need my vitamin A.

We bought a house in the Portland area today.

I have to sell my condo and get ready for a move across the vast country of the U.S.A.

I know how vast it is because I just traveled across it this weekend and the jet lag is a bummer. At least the early American pioneers (the ones who arrived here, not the ones that were already here) traveled by horse and wagon, so they took it slowly and the time difference wasn’t so hard on them. But the seats were probably just as uncomfortable as Economy Class seats.

What do you think? Was this first class back then or economy class?

What do you think? Was this first class back then or economy class?

I’m still proofing my paper back version of Never Turn Back.

Guess what?

I’m finding teeny tiny gaffes of the “why didn’t I see that when I was proofing the e-book?” variety.

Yeah. No. Two hands are not enough to covered this ashamed faced.

Another typo! I’m too brilliant for this kind of thing to bring me down. And here’s another one! Was I sleeping when I proof read this thing for the ninth time? No, it’s too good. I got caught up in the story. That must be it.

Not to worry. I’ll fix them and reload the book onto (into? up to?) Kindle and you can snag it again since you already own it–if you already own it. I’ll let you know when the corrected version is ready, deal?

I’m a perfectionist and want it as clean for your reading pleasure as possible. You’d do the same for me. I know it.

So I’m a bit a little majorly stressed right now.

That's after meditation...or was that medication? I can never remember anymore.

And that’s after meditation…or was that medication? I can never remember anymore.

If I don’t get to reading your blog posts, don’t think I’m an ungrateful louse. I just feel like the wheels are coming off the wagon–my wagon. Thank goodness I don’t have to pack a wagon!

I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t know when enough is enough.

Take a look at this very funny video. You’ll see what I mean.

Do you feel a bit over-extended? It’s okay to vent if you like. I can at least try to read, empathize quickly and put up a sad face.

Sorry. That's the best I can do for now.

Sorry. That’s the best I can do for now.

 

 

 

 

Kev’s Author Interviews Presents… Lorna Earl!

•October 18, 2014 • 8 Comments

Lorna's Voice:

Thought you might enjoy this awesome interview with ME! Apparently I’m not the only super-duper interviewer in town (and by “town I mean the world).
Remember the FREE downloads of my books end on SUNDAY.
Back to house hunting!

Originally posted on Kev's Blog:

Kev’s Author Interviews Presents:

Framed photo for promo Lorna Earl

Kev: In a generalized way Lorna, tell us a little about yourself. Where you grew up, siblings, family life, education, and how you got to where you are now.

Lorna: I grew up in the North Eastern part of the U.S., mostly in a very rural part of New York State near the Canadian border. But the only French I speak is “eh?” I’m the middle of three daughters, so I have a classic case of Middle Child Syndrome that I’ve never been able to shake.

My father killed himself when I was four years old. (I don’t think I pushed him over the edge or anything. He was already headed there before I was born.) So I grew up in an all-female household. How the heck was I supposed to stand out in that kind of a family dynamic?

I decided to…

View original 1,629 more words

 
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