Did you hear about the blonde who went to a comedy club and got depressed?

I laugh until it hurt. And then all that was left was, well, you can see all that was left.

I laughed until it hurt. And then all that was left was, well, you can see all that was left.

You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Well, you’d be half-right. But which half?

Guess you’ll just have to keep reading, won’t you? (They don’t call me the Queen of Cliffhangers for nothing.*)

Backstory

I discovered this comedian with whom I’ve fallen in fun-love. He’s my ideal humor-hunk. What gifts does this Adonis of Comedis have, you ask?

  • He’s clever. He rarely curses because he doesn’t have to. He knows real words and uses them effectively.
  • His humor is either observational or self-depricating, so it’s almost universal in its appeal (at least I think so, and, let’s face it, my opinion is what matters most).
  • He has kind eyes and a sweet smile. Awwwwww.
  • Okay, he’s tall (6’6″), dark, and handsome (if you like those heroes in romance novels with long hair…the men…the Jewish ones).

He has a few Netfilx specials and YouTube videos. That’s how I discovered him. I’m not a talent scout. Please don’t flood my comments section with audition tapes.

He’s been on every talk show. Ever.

If he ever gets famous, he’s gonna be, well, incredibly famous.

His name is Gary Gulman.

His name is Gary Gulman. Imagine what’s beneath that manly purple shirt. No, not the undershirt, silly.

Main Story

He had a show at the Helium Club in Portland on December 9. Philip and I went.

I was, to put it mildly, excited. But, being 59, I had to pace myself.

I was, to put it mildly, excited. But, being 59, I had to pace myself.

The two comedians who opened for him were doomed from the start. Kind of like the winner of a local karaoke contest opening for Rhianna. But, remember, we were in Portland. We’re chill. Also a little drunk (or high). We gave these guys some love, but we all wanted Gary. Gary. Gary! Gary! GARY! GARY!

You get the picture.

Enter Gary. My comedic dreamboat.

My, my, my…had his shower broken in his hotel room?

He looked, in a word, homeless. Portland homeless, but homeless.

Grungy jeans, sloppy plaid flannel shirt (I think it was buttoned correctly, I wouldn’t swear to it), hair either wet or greasy, hadn’t shaved recently, poor posture. Come to think of it, maybe he was trying to fit in.

Maybe it's the new look? I hope not.

Maybe it’s the newest look? I hope not. I’m an old-fashioned gal. I like my guy shower fresh, not shower less.

No, he didn’t look well.

Okay, so the Helium isn’t Carnegie Hall. Why gussy up? Comedy is comedy. You don’t need a tux to bust a gut!

He didn’t think our applause when he entered was effusive enough. We gave it another go. Better that time, but he said, “It doesn’t count if you have to beg for it.”

I thought, “This isn’t starting off very well, but it’s Gary he-da-man Gulman. Give him time to warm up.” I did.

He had some hysterical lines and observations, but the majority of his hour-long show was about his battle with depression. Yes, depression.

At first, I laughed along with the crowd at his confessions about his:

  • negations with himself to get out of bed
  • lack of motivation for self-care
  • self-medication with comfort foods
  • general lack of enthusiasm
We've all had one or 45 of those days, honey. We can relate. But, Sweetie, you're killing my buzz.

We’ve all had one or 45 of those days, Honey. We can relate. But, Sweetie, you’re killing my buzz.

We’ve all experienced some of these things and can relate. That’s why I laughed.

Then I got sad. He kept repeating things. His performance was disjointed.

I wanted to rush the stage and hug him…not because I wanted a hug from him, but I thought he could use one from me.

I thought of Robin Williams and, well, you know, other famous comedians who suffer(ed) from depression. I’m sure there are others, but, hey, this isn’t a freaking research paper for Psych 101.

I worried about his wellbeing. What would he do after the show? He wouldn’t be alone, would he? When would he wash his hair?

I talked to Philip on way the home. He said comedians use small shows to work out their material for their taped specials. “Don’t worry,” he told me.

That sounded plausible. But I’ve been watching videos of his performances and he looks so much healthier in those videos.

I can’t stop worrying about this very clever, very funny, very different man from the one I fell in fun-love with in cyberspace. (How many times have women lamented that one?)

You didn't look quite so, um, intense in your profile picture. Remind me what you do for a living. Ah, yes, professional mourner and professional scarecrow. Two separate degrees? Inspiring.

You didn’t look quite so, um, intense in your profile picture. Remind me what you do for a living. Ah, yes, professional mourner and professional scarecrow. Two separate degrees? Inspiring.

So, I went to his website…

I haven’t contacted him yet.

What do you think? Should I send Gary a little note telling him how awesome I think he is?
Or should I stop going to comedy clubs because clearly I’m in over my head.

 

*No one has ever called me the Queen of Cliffhangers. I stay at least 20 feet from any cliff. Heck on a deck, I try to avoid curbs. They don’t call be a Dizzy Blonde for nothing.**

**I am dizzy and blonde, so, yeah.

 

~ by Lorna's Voice on December 19, 2016.

47 Responses to “Did you hear about the blonde who went to a comedy club and got depressed?”

  1. I just saw Gary and have the exact same reaction you have. Super concerned and worried. At the end of our show he said he was taking 6 months to a year off to try and get the depression under control. Heartbreaking.

  2. I saw Gary last night in Connecticut in what he said would be his last show for awhile. I was surprised by his appearance – full beard, heavier than usual and an old, ill-fitting golf shirt. His show did include some bits related to his depression. It was, not surprisingly, a very funny show, but it was clear that he was a little off or distracted in his timing. He did a meet and greet afterward and was incredibly kind and generous. I hope he takes whatever time he needs and I look forward to seeing him again in the future.

  3. That is sad, but I am he did write back. Hoping he gets better soon.

  4. […] No? Well, click here to refresh your addled brain. […]

  5. I need to post an update. I did contact him via email. He wrote a short, kind of depressing, email back, but he wrote back.

    Thanks for stopping by, Shonnie!

  6. How is he doing now? Do you know? Did you write him? I think Laughter, jokes, and a jolly demeanor can often be the other side of the coin for depression. Praying he is well.

  7. Perfect!

  8. And that way you don’t even have to dress up for the photo of “fame”!

  9. I’m not getting my hopes up, or anything, but… 🙂

  10. I’ll take my 15 minutes of fame that way any day!

  11. I’ll look forward to seeing it on your blog!! And here’s hoping he is feeling better – and that he uses it in a future show!

  12. I totally understand, Lorna, and believe that you did the right thing. I hope he does choose to add it to his routine…that would be very cool! 🙂

  13. 🙂

  14. I did. I think I’ll share the email and his response on my blog. It would be just like him to use it in a future show when he’s feeling better! I would love that!

  15. Thanks, Peg. He’s given so many laughs via various taped specials that I’ve already gotten my money’s worth. And I think he did appreciate my email. 🙂

  16. Thanks, Gayle. When I can’t get something out of my head/heart for two weeks, I know it’s time to do something about it. I’m glad I did. Maybe when he feels better, he’ll use my email in one of his routines! 😉

  17. I see that you have already sent him an email and received a response. I think that if I was a performer I would like to get caring messages from my fans so I’m glad that you followed your heart, Lorna. I hope the new year finds you healthy and happy…may all good things come your way! Namaste, Lorna! ❤

  18. I sent him an email telling how big a fan I am and why. Also that I was there and felt something was different that made me worry about him. I sent him the link, too.. He responded with a very brief note: “Thank you for caring. I’ll be okay. Happy holidays. Gary.” 🤔

  19. You’ve got a tender heart, Lorna. My two cents worth is not to send him a note saying how awesome he is because it’s not honest. Send him this blog post instead xxx

  20. You have a kind heart, Lorna. I think my overwhelming reaction would be anger that I’d been cheated out of my well-paid for laughs.

    On a serious note, I think you SHOULD send a little note. A kind impulse is never a bad idea, and might come at a crucial time for him.

  21. Yes, write him a note! Speaking as a fellow-artist-in-the-world I love hearing a kind word from fans – it helps you get thorough the long dark blahs of the soul – and it helps you remember that you’re doing your art for a reason and that occasionally someone out there notices.

  22. It is if you want to avoid the missiles…..

  23. So you’re new talent/hobby is drone spotting? Is there a lot of demand for that kind of thing these days?

  24. I suppose that’s true. Thanks, Frank!

  25. Thank so much, Olga! I emailed him a couple of days ago. If he replies, I’ll let everyone know!

  26. Thanks so much! I already emailed him, so if he does respond, I’ll let him know. 🙂

  27. i hope he gets all that he needs, making smbody smile is a tough task to do but doing that with selflessness is what makes it amazing…plz ask him to watch ” the kapil sharma show’ it might inspire him ,many ppl battling depression hv agreed.. all love.

  28. As a psychiatrist, I agree with the suggestion. If he’s truly depressed he might not be replying to anything or reading anything, but a kind gesture might help. I hope he is getting some care. And I hope your Christmas is good.

  29. Oh no … don’t contact him. Good comedians are brilliant … very smart … some are also misfits – don’t fit well into the world …. he may be one of those.

  30. I thought she was improving when she told me it was OK to go out with the guys one time, until I realized she had a drone following us the entire night.

  31. She really needs to diversify her hobbies. Car tattooing, competitive dog grooming, handcuff collecting, photo bombing, making lists. The list is endless.

  32. Comes with experience. My wife has been stalking me for 49 years.

  33. It was, P. I love living in this area because I get to do fun stuff like this. 🙂

    And I’ll be sure to let you know if he responds! ❤

  34. Me, too. I sure hope he wasn’t going to be alone after the show.

  35. Okay, you made the decision for me, Carol. I’m emailing him today! Thanks! 🙂 ❤

  36. Good idea. I was thinking about keeping it complimentary and compassionate…if I contact him.

  37. 🙂

  38. He does a bit about cookies that is just hilarious. Hard to offend anyone with that kind of material! 🙂

  39. Gee, never thought of that. Or, he could use me in his next comedy routine. But you would know best, Al. You’re the one with all the star power and the stalkers. ❤

  40. That’s what I was thinking, Debby. Thanks! I might just do that.

  41. Maybe he was just having that proverbial ‘off day’, or maybe he was in a depressive state. As we know, many creatives live with depression, many comedians, sadly too hide behind their humor. I’d visit his website and say hello. LIfe isn’t always a party for anyone. 🙂 Happy holidays Lorna. <3e

  42. Yes, send him a note. And then hire a lawyer to defend you against the restraining order that is sure to follow.

  43. I have felt this way about some people I’ve admired before. We actually care about them and wish there was a way to help. BTW, I think I saw this comedian on Last Comic Standing. I love good comics, but it’s hard to be funny these days due to political correctness.

  44. Send a note to him, let him know you know his work. And that you worried he wasn’t quite himself. I wouldn’t go all “Dylan goes electric” on him, though.

  45. A delightful post, Lorna. My vote is to send him a note telling him you love his work. I can’t imagine a more difficult job than walking into a room of strangers, many of whom my be tipsy or more, to try to make them laugh. Your questions about what he does when he’s alone after a show are crucial.

    When comedians leave the stage and the laughter ends, what’s left if there’s no one to tell them they do amazing and important work – they bring laughter and joy to others? That’s a momentous gift, especially in these times.

  46. Unfortunate he isn’t doing well. Hopefully your hubby is correct and he’s working on his act. I hope he had a friend or agent in the audience to help him with that.

  47. Go for it. Definitely send him a note and put your blogsite link under your signatory! And BCC me when he connects with you, and your blog, and asks you to replace his two opening acts. Sounds like it was a real fun night. 😉 xxx

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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