Facebookaphobia, It’s a Thing

Facebook scares the bejeezus out of me! Or maybe it’s just my face that’s scaring me lately. I’m all confused.

I’ll admit it. I’m afraid of Facebook.

Consider the facts:

  • I’m blogging, sort of. Every couple of months. Give or take.
  • I just texted someone.  I’m hoping it was my son.
  • I ended my teaching career with several highly popular online courses.

Isn’t all that testimony enough to my willingness to wade into the murky cyber-waters that didn’t even exist when my brain was young and best able to absorb all this change-in-a-nanosecond technology.

Heck, nanoseconds didn’t exist when I was in college.  So give a dizzy blonde a little credit for at least being here.

But you won’t find me on Facebook.

I’ve worked hard to simplify my life.

Facebook seems like one wormy way to complicate things faster than you can “ping” or “poke” or do whatever you do to those other faces who may or may not be real and whose lives you may or may not care about. (I realize that I may or may not be making sense. I’ve come to accept that about myself.)

Really, People. How do you know if these Faces in the Book are real?

Shizzle sticks, I have a hard enough time figuring out if people standing right in front of me are genuine.

Plus, I don’t want to be poked; I prefer hugging.

Those occasional “friend” requests via email put me in a tail-spin. I’m immediately transported to my hyper-sensitive teenager days when friends defined me.

If I don’t accept the “friend request,” will the person think I’m a snob?

I’m not a snob! I have to send a long email to explain that if I accept the request, I’ll have to get a Facebook account, which, to me, is tantamount to entering a maze. Blindfolded.

I can just imagine the sleepless nights I’d be in for if I became one of the nearly 1.25 billion active users. And I’m only talking about FB, not Twitter, Snapshut (or is that Snapchat?), Instagram, and Who’s-On-First? (an oldie but goodie).

No, my insomnia would be caused by my angst if someone rejected my friend request. Why aren’t they responding? Are they mad at me? What can I do to make they like me? Should I send another request? OMG, have they blocked me?

I just don’t need all that Facebook drama in my life. I have enough Face-person/Face-dog drama to keep me awake if I choose to worry about any of it.

Okay. I know. There are many advantages to being on Facebook.

  • You can find people, even if they don’t want to be found.
  • You can avoid email and telephones–only using your expensive smartphones as mini-computers and cameras (but I’m told they can act as telephones, too).
  • While your public speaking skills may atrophy, your manual dexterity with any sized keyboard is legendary.
  • You can collect “friends” and feel really good about the fact that you know more strangers than your siblings, partner, or co-workers.

I may or may not be kidding.

Social networking used to mean going to a physical place and actually talking with people–inefficient and cumbersome by today’s standards. Now it means something every different. For nearly 1.25 billion people, it seems to work.

For me, not so much.

But that’s alright. I’d understand if, unlike me, you are afraid of public speaking and avoided it.

How do you feel about Facebook?

~ by Lorna's Voice on May 9, 2016.

81 Responses to “Facebookaphobia, It’s a Thing”

  1. alright alright, their breakfast…yeah, well…maybe that. 😉

  2. I’m glad! 🙂

  3. It certainly is, I don’t feel hooked any more. No worries about not getting back to me quickly, just nice to see you stop in today.

  4. Sorry it took so long to reply. Been plowed under by life. Congrats on cutting the FB cord! It is liberating, isn’t it!

  5. Too bad you can’t filter the negative stuff and keep only the stuff you want or like. 🙂

  6. I totally agree with all of this; Facebook is another complicated element of life that we don’t need. Yet I really just can’t bring myself to delete mine. Its such a key part of my life, especially as a university student when connecting with people is vital. Social media skills also make you super employable with so many companies trying to boost their social media reps. So sadly, I think it is here to stay.
    However I am starting to really hate the concept and feel like I would be happier without it. It takes the negative action of comparing yourself to others to a whole new level. I feel like I could live life much more freely without it! Hopefully one day I can be like you!

  7. So true! Today marks 30 days without Facebook. I don’t even miss it anymore if it weren’t for wanting to get phone numbers for people I used to talk to on there I wouldn’t even think of it anymore, the fear of logging on and getting sucked back in is still there.

    Happy Friday.

  8. I was relieved to cut the cord and never regret doing it. Life can be lived fully without it! 🙂

  9. Wow, I am only 13 days without Facebook and I feel like I have overcome many of the threats Facebook has had on my life. You have hit on a few of the many reasons that I for one, Nuked Facebook. The main reason being, simplify my life and spend time outside with “REAL” people, ha.

    No Facebook Article-Day 3 marks the third day without it and for me I saw the most notable improvements in my life on this day.

    For the great article.

  10. Always, soul sister, always! 😊💗

  11. That’s what I love about the community I’m in around here–I know you’ll be there and I’ll be there for you! ❤

  12. So true!

  13. I feel that way too, but it’s like a ‘necessary evil’ in our world…

  14. You’re welcome. 🙂

  15. Hi Lorna, always a pleasure hearing from you. I hear you, not enough time in the day to read all I want to or write all I think. Ah well, we just have to do our best and forget the rest. Just in a dry spell with my writing so have been re-sharing blog posts. We do what we can when we can, dear soul sister. Write on when you can and don’t worry when you can’t, we will still be here 😊💗

  16. That’s so nice of you to say. I’ll try to keep my voice alive and kicking…or just kicking!

  17. Thanks so much! :0 🙂 Sorry I didn’t respond sooner but I am just getting to responding to all my comments. I am SOOOO bad!

  18. Seems like a nice compromise. Thanks for sharing that.

  19. I couldn’t agree with you more. “Social” media isn’t at all social.

  20. It (FB) was supposed to work that way for my books, too, but didn’t. I’m such a marketing disaster!

  21. 🙂

  22. Thanks, Jani. My biggest problem is my compulsion to check everything, clear all the messages, etc. I just didn’t have time. As you can see, I fall behind constantly on my blog–and I LOVE this blog! Oh well…I must do what I can and not fret about the rest, right? Hope all is well in your world, Sweetie. ❤

  23. I suppose that when it works, it works. And that’s great. I feel kind of awkward when, at meetings for the social organizations I now belong to, people assume everyone is on FB and just says, post something on FB. I have to ask them to email me and I get “the look” as if I asked them to send me a telegram!

  24. Same here, Gayle. Yes, I was on it to help promote my memoir. I just never got the hang of it. I’m such a social media dinosaur​!

  25. Interesting. I don’t associate “time-saving” with FB! 😉 But I can understand it now that you have explained it.

  26. I actually love facebook. I mean there’s lots about it, and things that people post which annoy me, but overall I love catching up on news from friends and family without having to make the effort of contacting them! I like to see their photos and hear what they’ve been up to. And I can also share things about what I’ve been up to without having to individually tell lots of people. It’s very time-saving in that way 🙂

  27. I understand your feelings, Lorna. I actually think you were on it for maybe five minutes because I believe I remember friending you on there…lol! I remember your hesitation about it then too. I mostly am on there to keep in contact with my extended family and friends from my growing up neighborhood. I’ve been asked to be friends with all kinds of people that I don’t know and wonder why in the world have they sent me a friend request…I ignore most of them.

    I’m really happy to see another posting from you and am just happy that we ended up connecting through blogging…it’s been great! I value your humor and authenticity. ❤

  28. You’re not joking. (First time for everything 🙂

    I was a FB virgin until a few years ago and it seemed scary and threatening and dumb, and then someone I hadn’t seen for 30 years emailed me through my blog and I was really touched, and so I followed her back to FB-land and then I discovered all the people I went to high school with who I thought I’d never want to see again were all there and they’d grown up and become wise and funny and loving. What a surprise! It was actually really moving. So I stayed in FB-land and now I love it. Of course, everyone’s madly pretending they’re having the most fabulous life but I don’t mind. I’m a sucker for the photos my school mates post of their grandchildren. xx

  29. I find it both bane and blessing. Bane because of the overload of useless information. Blessing because I enjoy sharing in all my long distance family and friend’s special occasions or daily life which a phone call once or twice a year just cannot cover. Bane because I am in myriad writing groups and see hundreds of posts go by daily that I just cannot keep up with. Blessing because I am in myriad writing groups that I have learned a lot from as well as gained a lot of exposure from. Bane because so many friend requests from people I don’t know telling me how beautiful I am and that they want to marry me. Blessing because so many friend requests are from writers far greater than I and we usually have several to hundreds of mutual writer friends plus I check them out online to be sure they do have a book or more out, a blog or other genuine presence. Some days I would like to shut it down. Other days I am very grateful for it. Seems I just described life itself lol. Great post, Lorna, thanks for the giggles 😊💗

  30. When I’m in a “Monty Python” frame of mind I really enjoy BroccoliFace sorts of events. It’s a way of “keeping it real” 😉 But you’re right, it’d be hard to capture on social media – lol!

  31. I was so glad to see you have a new post up. YES, we missed you here on the blogosphere. Just don’t give up on it. You don’t have to EVER do Facebook. We love to connect with you here in your own space.
    I admit, I do ‘do’ FB. The main reason was to connect with family; nieces/nephews/cousins/the kids-of-cousins, etc. all FB and we share photos and info that way. Then I connected with high school and college ‘friends’ (acquaintances) I hadn’t seen in many years. It actually was fun to see where they all ended up living/doing in their lives. And they became great supporters of my blog, and then my books. Many of my early books sales can be attributed to ‘old’ friends believing in me and buying my books. And they never would have known I’m an author, if not for FB. Sooo, there’s a long explanation of why FB works for me. You? Please, just keep blogging!

  32. I don’t do the Facebook thing either, Lorna. It seem to me the more “connected” we are as a society the weaker the social skills become. When I leave work at 5pm there are usually a half-dozen guys in the break room. It’s silent as a morgue and everyone is staring at their phone. There is no conversation, no human interaction, yet they couldn’t wait to get their online fix. Back in the day, we used to play cards at lunch time and actually speak to each other. That type of behavior would be labeled “taboo” by today’s society.

    After all, we might miss a photo of someone’s cat farting in a dustpan.

  33. It is intimidating Lorna. I used to keep my private life, private. But I was urged by many writers to ‘put myself’ out there to allow readers to know more about you and engage. It’s a choice. And so I reactivated the old FB page. There are privacy settings for certain things, and when ‘mysterious’ friends show up friending me I just ignore. On the upside, I can chat free on their messenger page with friends around the globe. 🙂

  34. I have noticed. Hope it’s only a phase, as all of us go through. We would hate to lose your unique voice. 🙂

  35. Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.

  36. 😍

  37. I’m pretty much with you, although I did get a facebook account so that I can occasionally see pictures of the babies in my family. But I don’t do anything else. So I feel a bit like a stalker only without the kidnapping and killing part. (That’s good. I’m really not into that sort of thing).

    And why the hell am I supposed to “LIKE” every restaurant and/or business I patronize? Huh? Why do you guys think I should provide you with free publicity. (Oh, I also hate wearing clothes that scream the brand across it, too.)

  38. Shouting works sometimes, too, and no phone company to pay.

  39. I’m seriously thinking about buying myself a rotary-dial phone…

  40. Congratulations, Ruth! I wish you all the success in the world. Yes, publishing is challenging, but you did it and that is quite an accomplishment! 🙂

  41. I hear you!

  42. All things in moderation, right?

  43. Well over a billion!

  44. Love you too, Sweetie! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  45. Good for you! But, as you may have noticed, even keeping up with my little old blog lately is a challenge for me.

  46. I joined FB to sell my books, too. Then I heard from a few people how annoyed they were that FB had become a place where people marketed things! Couldn’t win. So I just went through the difficult process of getting rid of my account. They don’t make it easy. I think getting my divorce was easier! 😐

  47. Dear Lorna, I resisted for a very long time and only joined when I started publishing books. Although I share content in different places, I mostly use messenger to connect with other writers and friends, rather than checking people’s content (unless they happen to post when I’m there). I’ve been reading quite a few posts recently about how liberating it is to unfriend people… I am everywhere with no result on the number of books I sell, although at least I got many birthday wishes… 😉

  48. I got on to keep track of my kids, nieces and nephews. But I refuse to get sucked into daily/hourly/minutely checking crap. Once a week or so is fine by me.

  49. YAY … welcome home. 🙏🏻
    This is where you belong, my dear. AND … me too. I HATE FB. I’m on it because of my grandkids. They don’t communicate unless it’s through the media. I go on 2 times a week – that’s it. I don’t friend everyone just people I know. I’m with you on the way things are changing in the world of communication. I believe it has to do with everyone living all over the place. Neighborhoods where everyone knew everyone and watched out for or verbally caught up with each other is gone. SAD … my saving grace is that when it gets really bad …. and it will … I will be in that happy place up in the sky.
    I’m smiling like a cheshire cat … soooo HAPPY you are back. I missed you girl. HUGS and LOVE … Izzy 😎

  50. I knew you weren’t. The point is, they aren’t either! Glad to know there are still some FB holdouts out there 🙂

  51. Go on Facebook part of the time, just not too often

  52. I prefer to spend most of my free time blogging, however, I do

  53. Hi Lorna, Good to hear from you. Hope you’ve gotten strengthened up from the “crud” you had earlier. What I had earlier this year took nearly eight weeks to conquer.

    Have you heard I joined your ranks as a published author. Joseph in the Old Testament is my hero. The book is Joseph: Not Your Ordinary Joe. The self publishing business is interesting, that and complicated. I have new respect for you 😄.

    Happy non facebooking! Love you, Ruth

    Sent from my iPad


  54. Happily Fbook-free so far. I still use clay tablets and email.

  55. LOL

  56. Good to know! 🙂 I’ll tell them. They’ll probably respond to me on FB. Oh. Wait. They can’t!

  57. TeeHee

  58. Separated at birth, that’s what happened to us, V!

  59. … and both are OK.

  60. See? FB is insidious! 😉

  61. Alright, alright, I can’t resist. But then I’m also curious about their mid-afternoon snack also! 😉

  62. Thanks, Beth!

  63. Hi, Gerry! Yes, doing well…finally. I need to re-enter the blogosphere gently so I don’t get injured after two months in orbit!

  64. Near Portland. If I get any more specific, I’m afraid that I’m going to have to be afraid of more than just FB (and I’m not talking about you, Al)!

  65. Well put. I belong to a volunteer organization and they post everything on FB. My colleagues just can’t comprehend life without FB. Me, on the other hand, …

  66. What? You don’t want to see what someone you barely know is having for breakfast? Oh, come on, P! 😉

  67. Our whole celebrity culture rather sickens me. Move over, old lady!

  68. When I saw that it has been 2 months since I posted, I was shocked. I really have to get back in the game. But I’m kind of disgusted with social media in general and the way that our culture makes celebrities out of people who simply share their bare naked thoughts (and other things) with the world. I think I might be getting old and curmudgeonly​…

  69. How would they even know? That they can know is very scary! 😐 (And I wasn’t kidding!)

  70. I hear you! Remember twirling the phone cord around your finger when you talked? Oh, the good old days! 🙂

  71. That makes sense! 🙂 I imagine BroccoliFace would not be such a social media sensation… 😉

  72. I stayed away for years but then, as a Deaf person, I realized that being able to read and see pictures on faceobok was a better way of “networking” than going to a crowded noisy room and trying to lip-read people while they eat broccoli, chips or chunks of cheese.

  73. I stayed away from facebook for years. I finally got pulled in at the beginning of this year. Been on it ever since. However, I’m totally befuddled with twitter. I tried it, but don’t get it, don’t like it, and can never say anything in 140 characters. 😛

    I think maybe when we were teenagers, it was the phone (land line) we stayed on for all hours. Now, they have their faces buried in phones which takes them to facebook and all the other social media sites. I’ve written about the public zombies this has created.

    Stay safe from those devil social media sites. 😉

  74. I don’t think you’re kidding 🙂 and I’m not on FB either. The very idea of all the people I’ve met in my life catching up with me is hair-raising, so if ever I do set up an account, I’d probably do it with an imaginary name – which I believe they want to stop happening soon anyway? …

  75. Facebook–my poetry posts automatically, I don’t pay attention to those who unfriend me, I scan it when the husband watches a sports event that doesn’t interest me, and I’ve enjoyed finding friends from the past…or being found by them. But, that being said, I understand your concerns. Happy to see you, my friend.

  76. Like everything else in life: the + and – I found use on facebook in promoting my books and doing dog rescue networking which has helped to get a lot of dogs out of kill shelters. But as far as chatting about personal things, rarely if ever do I do that. All that said, I’m with you about simplifying my life. I don’t own a smart phone, the only smart thing in my home are my dogs!! It’s good to see your face back here, scrunched or not. Love you! ❤

  77. I don’t think you are the Facebook type. In simple form, it’s a way to stay personal with people you know … my wife loves it, I don’t engage in it … and both are OK.

  78. I agree. Just to show FB, I am determined to meet all 1.25 billion people personally. I only have 1,249,945,867 to go. Where do you live again?

  79. I have as many friends requests as friends. I don’t bother too much if I do not know them. Especially if they are not a friend of a friend of a friend.. you know some sort of link… why do they want to be a friend, doing a search I could request many but it is no point because once they actually accept, or you accept, that is usually the end of it.. no more words said… What next who knows.. oh did I say I only use it for my family contacts.. 😉 hoping you are well…

  80. i totally get this –

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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