I had to do some digging, and it wasn't easy; but I didn't want to let you down.

I had to do some digging for the best stuff, and it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t want to let you down.

I’ve been at it again.

I’ve been scanning my local newspaper, avoiding real news while looking for fun items to share with you.

And I found some doozies.

How about we escort 2015 out with these little gems?

Yup. All this doctor has to do is make you pass out. Your blood pressure drops like a rock!

Yup, she found the cure for hypertension. All this doctor has to do is make you pass out. Your blood pressure drops like a rock! Nevermind that the doctor in the picture is a man.

Trespassing is annoying enough. But, golly, do you have to moan the whole while you are skulking about? No one respects the value of silence anymore.

Trespassing is invasive enough. But, golly, do you have to moan while you are skulking about? No one respects the value of silence anymore.

Do you remember our friend who was running for city council? The guy with the criminal record? Well, he pulled out of the race due to lack of funds and support. But he's obviously committed to remaining in the public eye. The last part of this article mentions his plan to run for office again next year. Or was that run for cover? With criminaliticians, it's so hard to tell.

Do you remember our friend who was running for city council? The guy with the criminal record? He pulled out of the race due to lack of funds, support and attention span. But he’s obviously committed to remaining in the public eye. The last part of this article mentions his plan to run for office again next year. Or was that run for cover? With criminaliticians, it’s so hard to tell.

Okay. Two things. These olives look mighty slippery just to grab. And a “finger-wiggling party” sounds kind of snarky to me–as if I’ll be getting a stern talking to the entire time (probably about olive etiquette).

I go to these finger wiggling parties all the time. Stick with me. I'll show you how to give as good as you get.

I go to these finger-wiggling parties all the time. Stick with me. I’ll show you how to give as good as you get.

It's been decades since I've eaten meatballs, but I don't remember having to order them where I buy rugs and stools. It's really hard to keep up with modern times.

It’s been decades since I’ve eaten meatballs, but I don’t remember having to order them where I buy rugs and stools. It’s hard to keep up with modern times.

I know people get really excited about cheese plates, especially when there's smoked meat nearby, but, come on. Nothing beats kielbasa on a cheese plate? I'm just taking a guess here, but I'm thinking that cheese is pretty important, right?

I know people get excited about cheese plates, especially when there’s smoked meat nearby, but, come on. Nothing beats kielbasa relish on a cheese plate? I’m just taking a guess here, but I’m thinking that cheese is pretty important, right?

I never enjoy reading about violence and I'm just sick about all the gun violence. So this story struck me as, well, a nice change of pace. I still hope they stick it to the assaulter, but at least his weapon was made from all natural ingredients.

I never enjoy reading about violence, and I’m just sick about all the gun violence in this country. So this story struck me as, well, a nice change of pace. I still hope the justice system sticks it to the assaulter, but at least, his weapon was made from all natural ingredients.

I had to read this advertisement several times. I'm happy that Purple Hair Woman found her life's calling. I'm worried that crickets have become the "other white meat."

I had to read this advertisement several times. I’m happy that Purple Hair Woman found her life’s calling. I’m worried that crickets or some other (and more disgusting bug) have become the “other white meat.”

Men, please don't heed this article's advice. No matter how you interpret it, it's probably not that kind of holiday party.

Men, please don’t heed this article’s advice. No matter how you interpret it, it’s probably not that kind of holiday party.

Well, that’s all the news from Portlandia for now.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season–Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and Festivus for the Restovus.

See you in 2016 for another year of shenanigans!

I'm using all my moves for peace, harmony, and a whole lot of laughter in each day ahead of us. No wonder I feel too pooped to pop most days! Maybe if all of you join me, we'll start something wonderful that can't be stopped.

I’m using all my moves for peace, harmony, and a whole lot of laughter in each day ahead of us. No wonder I feel too pooped to pop most days! Maybe if all of you join me, we’ll start something wonderful that can’t be stopped.