Only in Portlandia

I had to do some digging, and it wasn't easy; but I didn't want to let you down.

I had to do some digging for the best stuff, and it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t want to let you down.

I’ve been at it again.

I’ve been scanning my local newspaper, avoiding real news while looking for fun items to share with you.

And I found some doozies.

How about we escort 2015 out with these little gems?

Yup. All this doctor has to do is make you pass out. Your blood pressure drops like a rock!

Yup, she found the cure for hypertension. All this doctor has to do is make you pass out. Your blood pressure drops like a rock! Nevermind that the doctor in the picture is a man.

Trespassing is annoying enough. But, golly, do you have to moan the whole while you are skulking about? No one respects the value of silence anymore.

Trespassing is invasive enough. But, golly, do you have to moan while you are skulking about? No one respects the value of silence anymore.

Do you remember our friend who was running for city council? The guy with the criminal record? Well, he pulled out of the race due to lack of funds and support. But he's obviously committed to remaining in the public eye. The last part of this article mentions his plan to run for office again next year. Or was that run for cover? With criminaliticians, it's so hard to tell.

Do you remember our friend who was running for city council? The guy with the criminal record? He pulled out of the race due to lack of funds, support and attention span. But he’s obviously committed to remaining in the public eye. The last part of this article mentions his plan to run for office again next year. Or was that run for cover? With criminaliticians, it’s so hard to tell.

Okay. Two things. These olives look mighty slippery just to grab. And a “finger-wiggling party” sounds kind of snarky to me–as if I’ll be getting a stern talking to the entire time (probably about olive etiquette).

I go to these finger wiggling parties all the time. Stick with me. I'll show you how to give as good as you get.

I go to these finger-wiggling parties all the time. Stick with me. I’ll show you how to give as good as you get.

It's been decades since I've eaten meatballs, but I don't remember having to order them where I buy rugs and stools. It's really hard to keep up with modern times.

It’s been decades since I’ve eaten meatballs, but I don’t remember having to order them where I buy rugs and stools. It’s hard to keep up with modern times.

I know people get really excited about cheese plates, especially when there's smoked meat nearby, but, come on. Nothing beats kielbasa on a cheese plate? I'm just taking a guess here, but I'm thinking that cheese is pretty important, right?

I know people get excited about cheese plates, especially when there’s smoked meat nearby, but, come on. Nothing beats kielbasa relish on a cheese plate? I’m just taking a guess here, but I’m thinking that cheese is pretty important, right?

I never enjoy reading about violence and I'm just sick about all the gun violence. So this story struck me as, well, a nice change of pace. I still hope they stick it to the assaulter, but at least his weapon was made from all natural ingredients.

I never enjoy reading about violence, and I’m just sick about all the gun violence in this country. So this story struck me as, well, a nice change of pace. I still hope the justice system sticks it to the assaulter, but at least, his weapon was made from all natural ingredients.

I had to read this advertisement several times. I'm happy that Purple Hair Woman found her life's calling. I'm worried that crickets have become the "other white meat."

I had to read this advertisement several times. I’m happy that Purple Hair Woman found her life’s calling. I’m worried that crickets or some other (and more disgusting bug) have become the “other white meat.”

Men, please don't heed this article's advice. No matter how you interpret it, it's probably not that kind of holiday party.

Men, please don’t heed this article’s advice. No matter how you interpret it, it’s probably not that kind of holiday party.

Well, that’s all the news from Portlandia for now.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season–Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and Festivus for the Restovus.

See you in 2016 for another year of shenanigans!

I'm using all my moves for peace, harmony, and a whole lot of laughter in each day ahead of us. No wonder I feel too pooped to pop most days! Maybe if all of you join me, we'll start something wonderful that can't be stopped.

I’m using all my moves for peace, harmony, and a whole lot of laughter in each day ahead of us. No wonder I feel too pooped to pop most days! Maybe if all of you join me, we’ll start something wonderful that can’t be stopped.

 

~ by Lorna's Voice on December 23, 2015.

51 Responses to “Only in Portlandia”

  1. For a zany, dizzy blonde, this area is perfect!

  2. I think I left my comment about this post in another. Yes, I just need to move and I’ll be in one of your news items…

  3. Glad you liked them! I sure did! πŸ™‚ Hope you had fun over the holidays. πŸ™‚

  4. I don’t know about important. Interesting, maybe…and you’ll know all about my 2016! πŸ™‚ Hope you had a great holiday, Dawne!

  5. Thanks, Narelle! Hope you had a lovely holiday!

  6. Absolutely! No one is weird because everyone is weird! πŸ™‚

  7. Great, isn’t it? I just love it out here! πŸ™‚

  8. And don’t get me started on using hardwoods… πŸ˜‰

  9. I’m doing a chair dance and shaken’ in the good wishes for the coming year like good health, good friends, loving family and AMOR !!!!
    Happy New Year 2016 ….
    Izzy ❀️

  10. I say we pass stricter laws and start registering tree branches. Why do some people think they need a branch with more than two limbs? I’m sure when Cain beat Abel to death he didn’t use a club with a thirty-limb clip. Can you imagine some wacko attacking innocent people at the mall with something like that? Let’s just hope they arm the security guards with chainsaws.

  11. Wow, I hope you’re the exception to what seems to be the rule in Portlandia. Crazy!

  12. Aren’t you glad you moved!

  13. Sometimes all we have to do is look next door. :-0

  14. Merry Christmas, Lorna. First with Fozzie πŸ™‚ xx

  15. Thanks for keeping us up to date with the important stuff. Hope your 2016 is awesome!

  16. Funny articles. Merry Christmas. πŸ™‚

  17. You got that right! πŸ™‚

  18. Lovely… πŸ™‚

  19. Goodie!

  20. Glad you enjoyed them, Frank. You’re always entertaining us. It’s about time you sat back and had some fun! Enjoy each day! πŸ™‚

  21. I celebrate having a quite day at home! πŸ™‚

  22. Here! Here! πŸ™‚

  23. Hey, thanks for stopping by! I used to scour Snopes for fun news stories. Now they are delivered to my front door. Can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing. No, it’s good! Happy Festivus! πŸ™‚

  24. Yes, I will! But dancing is so much fun–my favorite form of exercise! πŸ™‚

  25. Brilliant! πŸ™‚

  26. Same to you and yours, Peter. Love, L πŸ™‚ ❀

  27. Aren’t those stories something? I used to go to Snopes for my crazy news. Now it’s delivered to my door!

  28. Yes, we’ll talk more later and perhaps… OH BOY!!!!!

  29. Love to! Maybe in 2016?

  30. Miss U2. Come visit! All three of you. ❀

  31. I’m dancin’ up a storm to keep on passing that love and joy. And to keep the crazies (like in your newspaper stories) FARRRR away!

  32. You are a great source of cheer always. I hope you and yours have a really lovely Christmas and New Year and I look forward to connecting with you again in 2016

  33. Heehee – maybe he was barking up the wrong tree if he wood want get to the root of the matter?

  34. Great post! thanks for all the laughs, have a great Festovus -you’ll need the rest after your enthusiastic dance πŸ™‚

  35. These are all great. I’m also guilty of skipping the big news stories and trying to find the humor in the mundane.

  36. Thanks for all the chuckles and smiles in 2015. Here’s to many more in 2016!

  37. Thanks for the fun, Lorna! And “Happy Whatever You Celebrate” too. πŸ™‚ xoxo

  38. Thanks for the chuckles … the meatballs headline my fav. Happy Festivus to you!

  39. :0)

  40. I hope you enjoy it. Make sure you have plenty for your cheese platter. I hear it’s a must-have! πŸ™‚

  41. Same to you, V! ❀ (I'm definitely celebrating Whatever!) πŸ˜‰

  42. And to you, Elyse!

  43. Ah, and did he conifer with a decent lawyer or was the attorney incompetent and the case stumped him? I should have read the entire article! πŸ˜‰

  44. Same to you, Darlin’! Miss you! πŸ™‚ ❀

  45. Ah, I’ve come to understand that Vancouver, BC is quite different from Vancouver, WA. Not to worry, sister! I now understand why I’ve seen so many bumper stickers around here boasting, “Help keep Portland weird!” πŸ˜‰

  46. Love you and your wit! This was a fun read but living on the outskirts of Vancouver, some of those headlines make us look so stupid here. LOL πŸ˜‰

  47. Hahaha, too funny. Loving joyful happy holidays filled with lots laughter and barks, we all wish ya’ll. ❀

  48. Thanks for the giggles, and a happy whatever your choice/s may be!
    I wonder what the branch assault guy will branch out with next if he sticks at it, or will he twig the error of his ways and leaf it alone?

  49. Happy Holidays, Lorna!

  50. Fun. Have a wonderful Christmas or whatever. xo

  51. Interesting finds – especially the kielbasa relish – my husband just made some last night!

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: