The Best Real Estate Ad…Ever

Sometimes you just never know what you're wandering into around here.

You just never know what you’re wandering into around here.

Ready for some more flashy fiction compliments of Rochelle and the Friday Fictioneers?

This week, the genre is historical fiction and the picture prompt is courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The woman can write and take pictures!

hyde-hall-light

The Best Real Estate Ad…Ever

New Price! Motivated Seller!

Cleveland, Ohio. 4308 Franklin Blvd.

4 BD, 4.5 BA, 2,625 sq ft. 20-room historic sandstone Gothic castle built in 1860. One of a kind, rustic mansion with old world charm. Lots of character! Original everything! 1999 fire only adds to unique atmosphere and patina of wooden doors that close on their own! This is no drive-by listing. It’s a must-see property. A must-hear one, too! Listen carefully for babies crying. No babies. Just crying. It’s perfect for discouraging extended company.

Free pest control and exorcisms for one year.

$399,900 or best offer. Owner financing available.

*****

This story (all 99 words) is inspired by one of America’s most famous haunted houses: Franklin Castle in Cleveland, Ohio.

It was built in 1881 for Hannes Tiedemann, an immigrant from Germany who made good in the US. Tiedemann may have gained significant wealth, but people, especially children, were dropping like dead bodies around him in his castle.

It is currently being subdivided for multiple occupancy. Makes sense. It is already occupied by several different souls already, right?

No, this is not the set for the Munsters. It's The real Franklin Castle in Ohio.

No, this is not the set for the Munsters. It’s The real Franklin Castle in Ohio. Maybe a color picture would have made the place look less spookier…

Do you believe in the paranormal? Do you believe in the normal? Think about that and let me know…

~ by Lorna's Voice on June 18, 2015.

78 Responses to “The Best Real Estate Ad…Ever”

  1. Thanks! 🙂

  2. Lots of company in that house. Fun story, Lorna.

  3. Thanks so much! I was aiming for something out of the box! 🙂

  4. I’m from Akron and one of our TV channels used to come from Cleveland. I’ve heard of that place. No way would I even get close. Great ad, Lorna. Really creative was to write the story. Well written. 😀 — Suzanne

  5. Also known as the graveyard shift…

  6. Sure — we can both work the midnight shift.

  7. Ha! Want to go into business together? 😉

  8. I like the way you think! 🙂

  9. Yeah, me, too!

  10. Babies crying would keep me away.

  11. So what if I believe in both the paranormal AND Normal ANNNND want to buy that house?

  12. You might consider working for Adam’s Family Real Estate. “Our agents are a real scream; book your midnight showing by calling …….” 🙂

  13. Maybe because it’s in a haunted house?

  14. Yeah, what you said… 😉

  15. I won’t disappoint… 🙂

  16. Thanks so much. I wanted to do something different…

  17. Who’s clever now? 🙂 Good one!

  18. Thanks! I didn’t know the picture was taken in a supposedly real haunted house when I wrote this. Spooky, huh?

  19. Thanks so much! 🙂

  20. I agree! I’m told there are gargoyles aplenty decorating the exterior of this place!

  21. All it ever takes is one right buyer… 😉 Where is Morticia when you need her?

  22. If only I were a real real estate agent! 😉

  23. Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed your little visit here! 🙂

  24. Truly engaging story and very effective humorous writing. Great job, Lorna!

  25. Hey, I’m sold. Haunted houses usually cost more. 🙂

  26. Oh with the right buyer this will sell immediately.. 🙂 no prob

  27. A snip at half the price!

  28. Very clever and well done, Lorna!

  29. I love this!

  30. I think the buyer won’t have trouble getting a ‘mort’gage. Clever.

  31. Cheap at the price, with hauntings at no extra cost.
    I like this done as a estate agent listing – very cool!

  32. Looking forward to them. 🙂

  33. You are so right. Unfortunately our norms are outdated and hence the abnormal has become normal.

    It is a whirlpool of thoughts and perceptions that is devoid of linearity.

  34. There’s just something about that chandelier that screams “spooky” isn’t there?

  35. I’m up for it. Ghosts don’t scare me. As long as they don’t the slimy stuff in my hair. That’s just gross!

  36. What about a pair of unnormals? I guess that would be you and me and Perry makes three. We might make a great team of ghostbusters. A little slime never hurt anybody.

  37. Thanks, but I’m here to tell you that I’ve had some experiences that I don’t know how else to explain but that something in the paranormal realm was a happening…

  38. All my encounters (and I have had a few) were non-threatening. Strange, but fascinating. I’ll share them someday.

  39. I’m a believer, too. I have to be. Too many encounters not to believe. 🙂

  40. Oh, good. You’re a believer. I have a few real ghost stories of my own. I have to share them…around Halloween…

  41. I’m going to wait until Halloween and tell my real live ghost stories (an oxymoron, I know)! So hang tight…

  42. If the abnormal is what we encounter the most, wouldn’t that make the abnormal normal? Oh, my head hurts… 😉

  43. Thanks! I had fun with it.

  44. Wonder if any of the calls were from dead people? 😉

  45. Oh, I could tell you some stories…Hey! Maybe I will! 🙂

  46. I’m sure there would be plenty of ambient inspiration there…

  47. Thanks, Rochelle! 🙂

  48. Good one! 🙂

  49. Good point! 🙂

  50. Especially if they are friendly!

  51. Hehe. What a great bargain, with the free exorcism. Everyone needs a ghost in the house.

  52. I absolutely don’t believe in normal. Look at my friend (including my online friends!)

  53. But has it been repossessed before…nice one http://www.southpeelhomes.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/quiet-niehgbors-sign.jpg

  54. Dear Lorna,

    Now there’s a delightfully honest real estate ad. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  55. Actually, it’s kind of silly, thinking that the only dimension is the one we see. Just as silly as thinking we’re the only sentient beings in the universe, you know? Here’s to seeing what’s in the shadows…para or otherwise.

  56. Wonderful. Methinks it’s an ideal horror or paranormal writer’s retreat!

  57. Great ad and I found your inspiration fascinating. Re your question — normal is different for everyone so I believe in my own reality and that could include the paranormal with a great deal of scepticism.

  58. Wonder if the ad got any calls 😀

  59. Clever idea and very funny: well done.

  60. Great take on this one.

    I do believe in both normal and paranormal as they are good tools for writing on these prompts. However, it is the abnormal that is most frequently encountered in life.

  61. Ok, I’m listening…(reading) 😐

  62. Nice ad and story! I’m partial to ghost stories. Ghost, spirits are real. I saw/sensed them when I was a child.

    Lily

  63. Well, you probably know my answer to your question of whether I believe in the paranormal. Yes, I do. It makes for some great stories anyway. I absolutely believe in ghosts. I love your take. I’m sold! Great ad. I’m moving into the haunted house.

  64. do i believe in the paranormal? i guess it’s possible. i’m just scared to find out. 🙂

  65. Made me laugh!

  66. This was so well done, love it. I’m not partial to ghosts, or spirits, or the paranormal. Don’t know if it / they exist, and I don’t want to find out. I like being ignorant in this regard. Too scary for me! You know the camel with it’s head in the sand, that’s me! 🙂

  67. Thanks! The best part is that this picture was taken in a haunted house but I didn’t know that until after I wrote the story. Spooky, huh?

  68. Well, then, I have some stories to tell… 😉

  69. I also believe in both.

  70. Nice!

  71. The best part is…I found out after I wrote this that Rochelle took this picture in a supposedly haunted house. My psychic powers are still working! 😉

  72. I’m with you, Peter! But you knew that already… 🙂

  73. Good explanation. I can’t put my finger on “normal.” Maybe that’s why. But I know I’ve had encounters with things I can’t quite explain–thus paranormal…

  74. I can’t quite get my mind around normal, but I definitely believe in the paranormal. I’ve had too many up close and personal encounters to say anything but, yup, something out there sure does exist. I can’t explain it, but I’ve experienced it.

  75. I believe in both!

  76. Love the unique ‘Ad’ format for your story! Paranormal may become the new normal….it’s normally changes constantly 🙂

  77. I’ve been accused of being everything but normal, so I suppose I have to accept the paranormal or I’d have no one to hang out with !

  78. Reading the history, I’ve no doubt it’s haunted. Nicely done.

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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