Finally, A Reason to Care About Politics

Another candidate. Another election.  Another reason to take a nap.

Another candidate. Another election.
Another reason to take a nap.

Do you have chronic voter apathy?

Don’t despair!

I have a cure for you.

After you read this, you’re sure to take a freakish compulsive healthy interest in local, state and national political elections.

Did I hear you correctly?

Did I hear you correctly? Politics? Interesting? Surely you jest.

It’s true!

Some hinky dinky people actually run for public office.

They say and do crazerific shizzle and you won’t want to miss it.

Take this dude.

You can tell I took this picture, can't you?

You can tell I took this picture, can’t you?

This guy is a 27 year-old part-time community college student. I’m not sure what he does with his other part-time, um, time.

He’s running for City Councilman for a local city near where I live. His platform is to “represent everybody who needs representing.”

His two main issues are:

1. he opposes fluoridation of city water

2. supports a program to provide wounded and struggling veterans a place to fish

He’s had some trouble with his campaign, though.

1. He’s running against a several-term incumbent who is an established government employee.

2. He has a few felonies that his opponent keeps bringing up (burglary, reckless burning, driving with a suspended license, and trafficking in stolen government property).

3. His Facebook page had a picture of police pepper-spraying a man, under which he posted, “F@#K them pigs.”

4. He’s not particularly well-spoken.

I bet you're thinking what I'm thinking, "I can see that helmet."

I bet I know what you’re thinking, “Wow. This guy provides a real choice for anyone looking for a change in the old government as usual!” No? Not exactly what you were thinking?

Councilman Hopeful has an answer to each of the above challenges to his campaign stumbling blocks.

1. He watched a YouTube video of his running mate on the city’s website and thought, “He’d be a good guy to run against. It seems like it would be a fair race.” Plus, he’s running for the 4th ward and, according to our candidate, “Basically, I like the number 4.”

2. He’s hoping the voters will overlook his felony record. “I haven’t been in pretty much any trouble at all (lately). There’s been a couple of things here and there, but nothing serious like when I was younger…I’m just trying to move forward…It sucks to be discriminated against for things you’ve done and things you’ve done your sentence for.”

3. He’s taken down his Facebook page and says, “I had hoped nobody would be going through that.”

4. The man has a high school equivalency degree and has completed some college courses in writing and journalism. He lists his occupation as “investigative reporter” on his Facebook page, which doesn’t exist anymore. He also announced his candidacy on the same now defunct Facebook page. Too bad. Under qualification for the “job,” he put: Leadership, responsibility, experience, and determination.

I bet he has tons of experience with determination.

I bet he has tons of experience in determination.

You (and by “you,” I mean “I”) can’t make this stuff up, People! I got this all from my local newspaper.

An ex-con with dubious credentials announces his run for Councilman (of a ward because he likes the number) on his Facebook page where he has a nasty slur about the police with a platform of “no fluoridation” and a fishing program for vets. Priceless!

Now that’s a race worth watching!

Not that kind of race...but that looks like a race worth watching, too.

Not that kind of race…but that looks like a race worth watching, too.

Doesn’t this make you want to see who’s running in your town? State? Nation?

Come on, admit it!

Any wonky donk candidates you want to tell us about? Now’s the time!

~ by Lorna's Voice on June 2, 2015.

48 Responses to “Finally, A Reason to Care About Politics”

  1. No, I think the honesty is going to get HIM! 😉

  2. Got me there.

  3. He’s honest? 😉

  4. And what makes him any different from the other candidates? Love your posts, Lorna.

  5. Mm… understatement? Possibly. 😉

  6. Yes, that’s a better word.

  7. Frightening, more like it. 🙂

  8. Ah. Thanks. And I know what you mean about Americans having a less than stellar reputation…

  9. I think he has a lot to learn about a lot of things…

  10. It sure will be interesting if he makes it to election day…

  11. Wow, what’s this world coming to? Any lunatic is free to run in the race, and one day maybe enough lunatics will be able to vote them in. 🙂

  12. Not very smart, is he? 😉

  13. England. Moved back here a year ago after living in the States for 10 years.

  14. Where’s “over here?” Just curious…

  15. Nuff said! 😉

  16. Marijuana is legal here, so that ship has sail…or gone up in smoke…or, you know. It may explain this entire campaign. 😉

  17. Yeah, maybe he should do the same! 😉

  18. He’s got my vote!



    I lied… hey maybe I should run! (…in the opposite direction) 😀

  19. We had a candidate like that. I think he went by the name of Krazy Kat or Silly String, I can’t remember. His primary platform was decriminalization of marijuana. Unfortunately, I was not in his precinct. 🙂 He lost by a landslide.

  20. Oh, don’t get me started! I always vote, and say how can you complain about the government if you didn’t vote.
    I live in New Jersey — need I say more. 😉

  21. I’m stumped. I just don’t know what to say. I hope that story doesn’t make it over here. We Americans are derided enough already abroad.

  22. I can’t tell if he is really serious about being honest or if he’s clueless about politics. Either way, it’s interesting reading!

  23. I wish I could…for so many reasons! 😉

  24. Animal lover, eh? Me, too!

  25. Or too much fluoride in his water? 😉

  26. Did you mean to say “Potland?” 😉

  27. In politics, anything is possible! 😐

  28. Fabulous. I know at some point there was a cat as candidate and a dead man (I think he died during the campaign but he still got quite a few votes. Somehow it makes sense).

  29. It is Potland after-all!

  30. Well … maybe too many funny beans in his coffee … Meanwhile, enjoy the campaign. 🙂

  31. I’m with the gorgeous cat. I really enjoyed the race. 🙂

  32. Pretty funny. It’s true, you can’t make that stuff up! Ha!

  33. Aren’t you glad you moved? Could there have been such a “colorful” candidate where you lived before? Of course! They’re everywhere! This post is priceless, and truth be told, I admire the guy’s balls. Not his literal balls…you know what I mean. God Bless America!

  34. I love Goggle Images! Thanks for commenting and hope your head didn’t explode. 😉

  35. I’m afraid you’re probably right. And I just reported the facts, V. That’s all it takes sometimes! 😐

  36. I’m not sure there’s much of a difference between this guy and lots of other candidates out there. Unbelievable. Thanks for bringing a little humor to the world of politics.

  37. Before my head explodes, I need to comment on your excellent choice of the jailbird image of Buster Keaton.

  38. That’s about right!

  39. That must be his thinking… 😉

  40. It’s reassuring to me that I can get a good chuckle from reading the newspaper! 🙂

  41. Yeah, but all that honesty up front is going to do him in…

  42. In this race? I have a feeling anything goes, so, sure! 😉

  43. Yes, he is really getting out ahead of all of his demons! 😉

  44. It seems to me he is as qualified as any other, the only difference is he has admitted it beforehand..

  45. Gee. What a candidate! Can I vote for him twice?

  46. I thought being a crook was a prerequisite for office….did I miss something?

  47. its reassuring to know we have such qualified individuals taking an interest in public service. Excuse me while I go bang my head against against the wall.

  48. Teach a vet to fish and they… Give them a fish and they like you better. Or however that expression goes. 😉

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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