Come on, People! I expected a bit more enthusiasm than that. How about some booze? Silly hats? Cranking up the voltage on your pace-makers? Something.

There are a bunch of us Senioggers out there. We may be long-timers, but we’re still kickin’ as long as we’re sittin’!

Most of you know that I’m in my twilight blogger years, having just entered my (gulp) fifth year of blogging.

That makes me:

1. older

2. way behind on important things I should have doing these past four years

3. extremely comfortable sharing the intimate details of my personal life and bodily functions with people I don’t really know

4. wiser (which seems kind of counterintuitive given #2 and #3, but hey, what the heck)

5. older

With all this blogging under my fingertips, you’d think I’d know exactly how to blog like a champ.

You’d be wrong.

Good thing I’m wise enough to read an article about how to blog effectively while my eyesight is still in tact.

Just using the most accurate equipment to make sure all systems are operating at peak performance for my age.

Just using the most up-to-date, accurate equipment to make sure all systems are operating at peak performance for my age.

I’m also wise enough not to repeat everything in that article, which would be cheating and way too easy.

No, I’ll “summarize” it for you, giving you examples of what not to do so you can learn by the very effective teaching technique of negative reinforcement (only without the shock treatments. You’re totally welcome.

Look! Now you can have this totally safe treatment in the comfort of your home!

Look! Now you can have this totally safe treatment in the comfort of your home! And no wonder most of us are living past 40. Mystery solved.

A Blog That’s Double Bomb Hoopy (Really Good)…

1. …Has Personality. That means you have to put you, yourself, and, um, uh, you in each post.

Readers don’t want just to read quotes or stuff from other people. They can get that on Facebook or Pinterest or whatever.

Authenticity. Voice. Put your real deal stuff out there, People. (Don’t take that last sentence out of context. I’m not a perv.)

2. …Uses an Intelligible Lexicon. Ha! Gottcha! That means you should use simple language.

What’s the fun in that? I say creatify as many wordicatures as possible.

But that’s me and my blog has only been Freshly Pressed once–my very first post. Go figure. I thought WordPress welcomed all new bloggers with that nice, generous “Hey, Everyone! Look who’s come to join us! Let’s make her feel welcomed.” I sure felt welcomed. Not so much since then…

Speaking as one of the WordPress OverLords, I don't know why this Lorna person continues to mewl about being Freshly Pressed only once. Who does she think she is anyway? Someone special? Piffle!

Speaking as one of the WordPress OverLords, I don’t know why this Lorna person continues to mewl about being Freshly Pressed only once. Who does she think she is anyway? Someone special? Piffle!

Anyway. The article says don’t try to pique impress your readers with $10 words when $1 words will suffice do.

3. ….Keeps Content Simple and Visually Appealing.  Lists are good.

No long paragraphs.

Maybe you should write in complete sentences.

Maybe not.

Pictures should relate to content…if possible.

It's not always possible.

It’s not always possible.

4. …Has Focus. I suppose you should stick to one topic and not veer off on tangents.

Sometimes tangents are fun. Don’t you think tangents can be fun?

Um, er, I don't remember that kind of tangent being very fun...

Um, er, I don’t remember that kind of tangent being very fun…

Who wants to be an old stick in the cement and stay on topic? I did enough of that in my college essays. Sheesh! What happened to joy?

Oh. Yes. We want your blog to be effective. Okay. Focus. Got it?

5. …Is Edited as if You Truly Care. Don’t write just the first draft and hit “Publish.” I know it’s tempting and satisfying, but it’s also embarrassing.

People might think you were drunk (or hungover or high or sleep-deprived) when you wrote your post. If you want people to think that, well, okay. But most of us are trying to project that not-altered-state image. Editing helps us do that.

Sure. I'l take you home, Blondie. How 'bout a lill kiss for my troubles?

Not totally, but it helps.

Readers see lots of typos and think that you’re sloppy or have a brain injury. I know it’s not fair, but I they do. So check your work…a lot.

You never know when some publisher, agent or online magazine scout will stumble across your blog. You don’t wnat them to readd ths.

6. …Have Lists of 5 items. They are perfect. (I added that one.)

*****

There you go.

Your blogs should attract a whole bunch of attention if you follow the above advice.

If not, I’d say your content could use a tweak and you should pay more attention to reading and responding to other people’s’ blogs. Being an active member of the blogging community gets you noticed.

That article failed to mention anything about meaningful content or seriously engaging in the blogging community.

I think those two elements of blogging are pretty darned important, don’t you?

Take your time. Relax. Think about your answer. I'm in no rush...yet.

Take your time. Relax. Think about your answer. I’m in no rush…yet.

As a wise blogger, I know that you are wise, too. What blogging wisdom would you like to share?