A word (or more) about blogging ethicalness

Oh, how I've missed you!

Helloooo! Are you still out there? Oh, how I’ve missed you!

I bet you’re thinking, “That OCD conscientious Lorna must be almost finished with her final edits on that novel I can’t wait to read.”

Don’t waste your money on the lottery. I’ve got 3 chapters edited.

I ran into some, er, um, ah, more health perplexa-problems.

Either:

*My gall bladder is history.

*I get to add Chron’s/Crohn’s Disease or Chronic Misspelling of Diseases I Really Don’t Want to Have to my Magical Mystery Tour of health issues.

*My intestines (upper/lower, you pick) have a blockage that needs Draino or something,

*I have Lesions or Legions of Something causing so much abdominal pain that I’ve given up on eating.

On the plus-side, I’m not a “plus-size” gal. Far from it.

On the minus side, people keep telling me that I look like I’m sick.. If I’m going to be thin, I want to be ravishing, not repulsive.

Oh, just leave her, Big Guy. She doesn't have enough meat on her bone to make it worth your while.

Oh, just leave her, Big Guy. She doesn’t have enough meat on her bones to make it worth your while.

2 1/2 weeks of tests and no one knows what’s wrong with me. Of course, one could argue that 56 years of tests and no one can explain me, either…

But what does this have to do with blogging ethics?

Heck if I know! I forgot.

Oh yeah.

I figured that there is some kind of implicit social contract we (us?) bloggers make when we bond with each other. We’re bonded, right?

It may not always be pretty, but we're connected. I know it.

It may not always be pretty, but we’re connected. I know it.

So I looked to see if there was a formal set of ethical obligations we have and if I was violating any of them by probably dying or something.

Of course there is. The following comes from Wikipedia, so you know it’s true.

“According to the New York Times, O’Reilly and Jimmy Wales based their preliminary list on one developed by the BlogHer women’s blogging support network and, working with others, came up with a list of seven proposed ideas:

  1. Take responsibility not just for your own words, but for the comments you allow on your blog.
  2. Label your tolerance level for abusive comments.
  3. Consider eliminating anonymous comments.
  4. Don’t feed the trolls.
  5. Take the conversation offline, and talk directly, or find an intermediary who can do so.
  6. If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them so.
  7. Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say in person.

The general reaction was that bloggers hated them. Either that means that bloggers are not too fond of ethics or of rules. It’s hard to tell which sometimes.

I’ll just share my impression of each of them and add a few of my own.

First, I think seven is too convenient a number. It’s a mystical number and infers some ineffable and uninalterable power–like you should never mess with words in the English language. Only bad juju will result. 7 days in a week (unless you’re a workaholic or mother and can squeeze 8 days in), seven deadly sins, 7 colors in a rainbow, 7 notes on the musical scale, 7 movies with 6 sequels (totaling 7 movies: James Bond, Police Academy, Star Trek, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Harry Potter).

This is a top-shelf blog, People. I do my research,

Ready for my next assignment!

Ready for my next assignment, Boss! Can I do a piece on child labor?

My Take on Their Rules:

1. Taking Responsibility: I take responsibility for my words–especially the ones I make up. But that word “allow” gives me the heebeejeebees. Free speech, blah, blah, blah. I suppose if someone put up a filthy-mouthed (fingered) comment on this G-rated blog, I would have to tell them I was taking it down because Scrappy reads my blog and, while his hearing is starting to go, his eyes are still pretty sharp. Since my version of swearing is “Golly Gee Willikers,” the ole Scrappy Doodles just couldn’t cope.

2. Snarkiness Standards: I’m a Buddhist. You know that. I live by the credo of kindness. That’s my standard. You’ve been notified.

3. Blogger’s Anonymous: When your avatar is a cartoon or gerbil, I’m assuming a cartoon or gerbil didn’t make the comment. I would have to eliminate most of my “anonymous” comments. That’s just silly.

4. Trolls Under the Blog Bridge: Trolls are not kind. They stir up trouble for the sake of trouble. But they must be troubled souls to find this kind of unwholesome behavior rewarding. Treat them with compassionate silence. Maybe that’s what the rule meant. See how this Buddhism thing works?

5. Conversing Offline: I find that, sometimes, personal exchanges between bloggers provide me with valuable intel. Okay, not if they’re arranging a date; but if they’re sharing tips on book marketing or stuff like that, dish it up! I think bloggers are savvy enough to know when to chat out of public view. Do we need a rule that says, “Get a room!”?

6. Confrontation:No can do. I’ll walk away and speak with my silence. Confrontation gives me a huge pain in my abdomen. Hey. Wait…

7. Speak Your Truth Always: I agree, although, I’m so much funnier online than I am in person. I wish I could come up with this shizzle at a party.

My Additional Rules:

8. Be Yourself. Your authentic voice is the one that people will be drawn to. If you try to be someone other than who you are, you’ll end up like every character in those formulaic relationship movies in the interminable screwed-up middle before the predictable happy ending. Nothing goes well. (NOTE: This is note contradictory to Rule 7. I’m a witty gal, but more so in writing. My brain work better when it has time to think..)

And then my car got towed when I was in jail over night because my best friend left me at this bar where I got totally wasted and make a jerk of myself infront of this sweet girl I was trying to meet from work. So I just got fired and my landlord kicked me out and I burned my mouth on my last Hot Pocket.

And then my car got towed when I was in jail over night because my best friend left me at this bar where I got totally wasted and make a jerk of myself in front of Jennifer Aniston. So I just got fired and my landlord kicked me out and I just burned my mouth on my last Hot Pocket. before the turned the electricity off.

9. Final Arrangements: Have a graceful exit strategy so you don’t leave your blogger buddies wondering if you dumped them or you got bumped off.

More on this in the next post…if there is a next post.

Dr, House isn't available, but I'm optimistic that I'll live. I just keep thinking that there is sequel to my memoir in the making...

Dr, House isn’t available, but I’m optimistic that I’ll live. I just keep thinking that there is sequel to my memoir in the making…

~ by Lorna's Voice on January 27, 2014.

36 Responses to “A word (or more) about blogging ethicalness”

  1. Thanks, Margie. 😐

  2. Hope you find the cause of your pain soon – and hope you recover in a big hurry!

  3. You Sweetie Pie, you. What else can I say?

    I’m seeing a surgeon tomorrow. Maybe I’ll have some plan of action. 3 weeks of not eating and I’, now the amazing shrinking dizzy blonde…

  4. Hi Lorna. Sorry I’m late to the party (if you can call intestinal disorders a party), but I have been remiss in not getting blogs read. Sorry to hear you’re fighting another ailment. Not sure if the great Buddha would let you have pain killers, but hope you are getting some (I won’t mention it to him if you don’t).

    Getting to the post, you always hit the nail right on the head. As one of the rare HSP male types, I always avoid confrontation as well and would just as soon block someone as get into a conversation about morals with them. Face it, if they had any morals they would not disagree with me in the first place, right? As for anonymous readers, I’ll take them all. I think Mark Twain said it best: “Show me someone who likes my writing and I’ll show you a budding genius!” OK, maybe I’m the one who said that last night after a few drinks, but you get the idea.

    In short, sad you are in discomfort, but glad you have advanced to the point you can write again. The rest of us are the better for it.

  5. Lorna, go with your gut…no pun intended. I mean it! You may have hit on something that doctors can’t. Ask for some antibiotics. It’s worth a try. My best to you…feel better soon.

  6. I sure could use any spare good will and energy you have, Paige! Thanks so much. You are a love!

  7. I’d love to have you beta read for me and send your book my way when it’s ready. I have a fair distance to go with mine before it’s ready for you to read, but I can easily send it via email.

    When you send yours, tell me what you want me to look for, okay?

  8. No, Gayle. No exotic travel (except in my mind). But I wonder if antibiotics might work. The pain hit after eating organic salad…

  9. Wow, Sylvia, you’re right. It sounds as if we are suffering from the same thing. One doc mentioned scar tissue but that hasn’t been explored yet.

    My pain came on suddenly. One afternoon after lunch, then BLAMMO! I’ll keep you posted. I think my next step is a camera scope in my belly. YUCK.

  10. Have I told you today how much I love you? 🙂

  11. I was kind of surprised that there were “formal” rules, but there they are!

    I’ll be better soon. One way or the other. Until then, I’ll try to be a little more visible around here. 🙂

  12. You must be psychic, Izzy! Thanks for your compassion and kind words. I’m hanging in there and I intend to get to the bottom of this mystery illness. Don’t worry! 🙂

  13. I’m so pleased with myself that I decided to pop over here and see how things were shaking.
    You see … I haven’t been getting any e mail notifications from the blogger I follow. MMMmmmm … perhaps someone at WP thought I needed a little rest. lol
    Well, I’m so sorry that you are ill. Have been there myself , too. It sucks!!!
    AND … Yes, a very long time ago when I was following a blogger who no longer blogs (Morning Erection – clever name huh??!!!) well he had a post that was titled “What Happens to our Blog once we’re dead?” Who knows!!!
    It’s worth a ponder. I must tell Mabel.
    Feel better, mi amiga. You have tooo much talent we’d miss.
    Namaste
    Issy xoxo

  14. Sorry you’re ill again! Not good. Especially the not knowing what it is bit. Glad to see you popping back though, hope it all gets sorted soon, and thank you for sharing the rules, gives us something to work within 🙂

  15. PS. I have a blogging rule: read Lorna often. Come back soon!!! xx

  16. I miss you too…

  17. Ah, Lorna–I really am starting to think that we are twins separated at birth (and born in different years and countries, but those are small, insignificant details)…So sorry to hear of your health issues and your frustration with the medical community trying and failing to find an answer for and with you. I have been miserable this fall and winter, too–and like you, the docs have no answer for me other than to offer drugs for pain…had the invasive tests and the non-invasive ones and so far not much to say for all my trouble…apparently my innards are in pretty good shape for the shape they’re in, but there’s no way a person should be in this much distress if everything is fine. Now the docs are saying that scar tissue from previous abdominal surgeries (emergency surgery to fix a perforated bowel and then a temporary colostomy and then the colostomy reversal and then an emergency appendectomy) are to blame and there isn’t much they can do about them, as more surgery to fix them would just likely cause even more scar tissue to form…but in the meantime I’m left trying to cope with pain that is affecting my day-to-day life (or lack of, in my case)….Sigh…when you find out what is going on with your innards would you please let me know–maybe I can take that info to my quacks (oops, I mean doctors)…and see if it could apply to me, too.
    In the meantime, take care of yourself and work on your novel editing when you are able…and keep us posted…hugs.

  18. I’m very sorry to hear that you’re not well, Lorna. It seems like your doctors are doing what they can to figure this thing out and hopefully it will be a simple fix when they do. Take care my friend…yes, we are connected! Hugs….Gayle.

    P.S. No travels anywhere exotic lately where a strange bug could have taken up residence in your intestinal tract? Just thinking…

  19. That’s a great offer. Maybe we could swap beta reads? Right now I’m working with a content editor. Not sure when that process will be done. Did you decide to go with an editor or self-edit? And lemme know if you want me to take this over to e-mail. xoxo

  20. I’m so sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. Get some rest, and feel better soon, Lorna! I’ll be sending all kinds of prayers and good energy your way, my friend.

  21. I’m disappearing, but my sense of humor will probably be the last to go… 😉 Miss you, Rob!

  22. Thanks so much, Janet. I sure wish someone would figure this out. I never failed a test in my life, and so far (unfortunately), my record remains pristine. I want to fail one of the many tests I’ve had so at least I would have a diagnosis, thus a treatment plan. But anyone reading my chart would think that I’m healthy and these docs are ordering unnecessary tests. Very aggravating! I’ll keep you posted.

    Love to you and Dan…

  23. Oh, Diana, you do know how to make a sick gal feel a bit better! No NG tube. The issues are after the stomach. Had a colonoscopy a few months ago and the doc said, “Lorna, your colon is beautiful!” Go figure. 😐 The man needs a life! So the problem is somewhere in between the stomach and the colon, At least that’s what “they” are thinking.

  24. Sounds interesting and more promising than anything I’ve heard so far. I’ll look into it. Thanks, Christine!

  25. Thank you, Peter. You are such a dear man. I miss my Blogger Buddies a great deal and fully expected to me more active in Blogland by this time. Life, however, is continually flubbing up my efforts to plan! 😉

  26. Hugs back to you. If you need a beta reader, let me know.

  27. Thanks, Richard. I am trying my best to balance not eating (and avoiding pain meds) and eating a little but having to take narcotics. It’s not an easy balance to strike (even if I wasn’t a dizzy blonde)!

  28. I had the 7th test today (ah, the number 7!) and, once again, I passed with flying colors. If I wasn’t in excruciating pain, pale, and looking gaunt, I’d be the poster gal for perfect health! They’ve ruled out everything but an alien invasion! Thanks for the concern, Phil. Someone somewhere must have an answer…

  29. Hmmm, well I have a cartoon avatar, but I’m not anonymous, just unnoticed, that’s all. And hoo boy, I haven’t posted in like forever, so #9 is staring me right in the eyes. No search parties have been dispatched, or if they have, then I’m frightened should I actually go missing…

    Hope that Krohn/Chron/Krone/ er… that abdominal (or is it abominable – I forget which) thing is done with – for good! Hugs…

  30. Lorna, please take care of yourself. Your blog is good but not if you are ill and in pain. After come back strong or when you feel better. We shall still be here, promise,

  31. Sorry to hear about the health issues. I hear you about 3 chapters. I’m on rewrite #3 and seem to be going backwards. Sending hugs and love!

  32. It’s not nice you are suffering with health gremlins. Not nice at all. I do hope they get to find out what it is, and sort you out soon, so you can get back to editing and to Blogland where we miss your regular interactions. You are in our thoughts

  33. Sorry to hear you are under the weather or under something. I hope you find your way out soon! While they are trying to figure out what’s wrong, you might want to find a practitioner who teaches a TRE (Tension/trauma release exercises). They have helped my GI issues tremendously, and if it doesn’t help, it’s a great way to release tension – plus it’s easy!

  34. Ah, I feel your pain. Did they make you swallow an NG tube? If so, you have my deepest sympathies. Get better soon!!!! I’ve missed your zany wit, but mostly I want you to get better because you’re Lorna, you’re awesome, and you deserve to feel awesome.

  35. So sorry to hear of your pains and illness – whatever it is! I hope it is discovered and treated soon so that you feel better. My love to you.

  36. Who are you???? Long time no see, just glad that the sense of humour has not disappeared . …

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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