What? Whoo says owls can't be on the ground? I'm taking time to smell the flowers. It's called wisdom, People. It's also called too pooped to fly.

What? Whoo says owls can’t be on the ground? I’m taking time to smell the flowers. It’s called wisdom, People. It’s also called too pooped to fly.

My new “go to” resource for info on everything from how to find a job I can’t have to what common household products are going to kill me is the AARP.

They like to alert me daily about all kinds of things, but being highly sensitive, I really don’t appreciate getting startled so frequently. Or at all.

Happens every time I get a "New Mail" alert. And I have to find a way to get rid of that darned pop-ups...

Happens every time I get a “New Mail” alert. And I have to find a way to get rid of those darned pop-ups…

But that’s the price I pay for all the information I’m getting about sitting disease and, more recently, how the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) need MY (My and Your) help in telling them about adverse drug reactions. That’s if you’re taking drugs. I am. But the kind you get in stores, not alleys (or where ever you get good illegal drugs).

Yup.

Yup. You can’t read the fine print, but the head line should suffice to convince you that I’m not making this up.

Tax dollars only go so far and I think they may have stopped at the FDA Director’s yacht or something, because apparently they ran out of money to do their own research thoroughly enough before they release drugs.

So, they want us, the consumers, to report problems. It’s okay if doctors report problems too. Probably medical examiners, too.

Hmmm. I think we have a serious adverse drug reaction. My patients are always miserable after I treat them.

Hmmm. I think we have a serious adverse drug reaction. My patients are supposed to be miserable after I treat them.

Makes sense. Human trials are the best indicators of a drugs efficacy, right? So what if the testing isn’t exactly under controlled clinical settings. Compromise is the name of the cost-reduction-to-not-raise-taxes-on-the-rich game.

So if you stop breathing while taking Norvasc for your heart, contact the FDA by going to this website and filling out their form. It’s only three pages long. They probably want it completely filled out or they’ll reject it, so I hope you can hold your breath for a good long time or type really fast.

If you faint after taking Zestril for your hypertension, go ahead and log on to your computer, even if it takes you a few tries. I know typing while unconscious is difficult, but it’s your duty. Plus, I do it all the time.

You you have a bad reaction to your antidepressants and feel like smashing your computer, maybe there is a place for “comments” at the end of the form. Use that area to rant. I bet they are used to it and don’t pay any attention to that part of the form anyway. (Um. No “Additional Comments” area on the form. I looked. Sorry. You might want to ask your doctor for an anti-anxiety med and hope that works better for you.)

Or, if your are opposed to anti-anxiety drugs...

Or, if you’re are opposed to anti-anxiety drugs…

But, hey, the AARP does have a lighter side. They understand, like the Reader’s Digest, that laughter is the best medicine.

I don't know. Maybe these guys got a hold of some other kind of "medicine." They see mighty merry.

I don’t know. Maybe these guys got a hold of some other kind of “medicine.” They seem mighty merry.

Well, that may be overstating the case for the AARP. They think medicine is the best medicine, but they aren’t opposed to laughter every once in a while.

Here’s proof. They sent this along in one of their email “Alerts.”

As an aging Baby Boomer, I thought it was hilarious. Then again, I don’t take myself too seriously. And the tune is great.

At the very least, this is short post. That’s something, right?

Enjoy!