Hi! Remember me? Well, I had to get your attention, didn't I?

Hi! Remember me? Well, I had to get your attention, didn’t I?

This is just a quickie (and you know how fun and satisfying those can be) to share with you some oddities I observed in a magazine and our local newspaper. 

The first is from O, Oprah’s Magazine, which for the life of me, I can’t figure out why I keep getting. But every month some photo-shopped thinner version of Oprah appears in my mailbox with all manner of information on how I can be thinner, happier, prettier, more self-confident, richer, healthier, and thinner. She’s big on getting me getting small.

Anyway. This edition arrived the other day.

Notice the circled area. It says: "Change your hair, Change your life."

Notice the circled area. It says: “Change Your Hair, Change Your Life.”

I only ever read the front cover. They all strike me as a little bizarre, but this one really got my attention. Change my hair and I’ll change my life? Really? That’s some promise. Either my hair has more power than Samson’s or my life is comparable to that of an amoeba.  I’m going with the magic-hair theory.

All right. If my hair changed into that, I suppose my life would have to change...

All right. If my hair changed into that, I suppose my life would have to change…At least I’d have to change my car (convertible, top down), live in a castle (doors with very high clearance), and get a new, really long bed.

My next (and last example) is a word I’ve never seen before that was used in an article about our local hospital negotiating with the nurses’ union. Apparently talks have been unproductive. The relationship between management and labor is so strained that they are shying away from presenting proposals. They are offering each other “supposals.”

Supposals? Are you kidding me? Am I kidding you? Here’s a quote from the article.

“The second “supposal” — not an actual proposal but a suggestion for the union to consider —…” Isn’t that what a proposal is?

What’s next? Marriage supposals?

Oh, no. This isn't an actual proposal of marriage. It's more like a suggestion of the possibility of the two of us formalizing our relationship with some legal documents and maybe some religious ritual. Or something like that. If you want...

Oh, no. This isn’t an actual proposal of marriage. It’s more like a suggestion of the possibility of the two of us formalizing our relationship with some legal documents and maybe some religious ritual. Or something like that. If you want…

 

It is just me or do some doofypants things get into print? Have you seen any stuff like this lately?

Oh, and, by the way, I”m outta here for a solid two weeks. Bar Harbor, Maine is calling me and I’m answering!

Hello? Yes, this is Lorna. Bar Harbor? Maine? You want me to come visit you? Sure! I know how lonely you tourist towns on the ocean can get. Mind if I bring a friend? Great! See you soon!

Hello? Yes, this is Lorna. Bar Harbor? Maine? You want me to come visit you? Sure! I know how lonely you tourist towns on the ocean can get. Mind if I bring a friend? Great! See you soon!