That's me, always early and waiting for everyone else to mosey on in whenever they feel like it.

That’s me, always early and waiting for everyone else to mosey on in whenever they feel like it. If they feel like.

If there is one thing I’m not, it’s a procrastinator. A laggard. A dilly-dallier.

I take my responsibilities seriously. I get things done early, or, at the latest, on time.

If I haven’t attended to something, say blog award nominations just as a random example, it’s not because I’m procrastinating about writing a long over due acceptance post. ¡No, nie, nu, nicht, 没有, no way!

At least two-thirds of all people (including penguins) procrastinate regularly.

At least two-thirds of all people (including penguins and bloggers) procrastinate regularly. Of the one-third left, most of those procrastinate at least sometimes. That leaves me and a select few other OCD perfectionists to carry the burden of doing everything on schedule.

There are perfectly socially acceptable reasons why I have taken so long to, just as an example, acknowledge the generous bloggers who thought me deserving of  bloggidy-blog world awards. Bloggers like Skip at Food for the Soul93 (Liebster Award) and Devina at Hot Chocolate and Books (Very Inspiring Blogger Award) and Christof at Writer Christof Fischer (The Dragon’s Loyalty Award) and Paige at Paige Addams (My Fantasy Circle of Five, which is more of a blog hop/challenge, but I’m honored she thought of me, so I’m listing her, too).

My list of perfectly socially acceptable reasons for delaying certain, ach-hem, things includes:

–I had butt surgery and ended up with complications of the I’ve-already-said-enough kind.

–Unlike some authors who release a book and have already pre-sold a million copies, I have to actually market my book.

–My writer’s mind got pregnant with another book just kicking inside me to be birthed.

–My computer locks me out after 8 hours of direct eye contact with the screen. It must be a virus or something.

So I’m not procrastinating, People.

Poster Child for a Procrastinator. I mean, really. Would you trust him to get a report in on time?

Poster Child for a Procrastinator. I mean, really. Would you trust him to get a report in on time?

Hey, I know a lot of procrastinators. Here’s the kind of things they say:

–“Something important came up, so I had to put that other thing off. It’s not my fault, man.” Procrastinators say “man” a lot. They also split their infinitives. The scoundrels!

–“Hey, man, I was totally going to do that thing, but I got this way better idea instead.” Tempting us with the notion of a better plan is so typical. And scuzzy. The scalawags!

–“I was meaning to do that thing, but my computer or car broke down on me, man.” Blaming inanimate objects is a common strategy among procrastinators. The objects can neither confirm nor deny the claims. The cowards!

You can see how very different I am from the typical procrastinator, can’t you? Well, you can, right?

The difference is so obvious. Purcell (on the right) is far more contemplative than his brother Everett. How can I tell? What is Everett doing with his other hand? With monkeys, you can be pretty sure it's not pretty.

The difference is so obvious. Purcell (on the right) is far more contemplative than his brother Everett. How can I tell? What is Everett doing with his other hand? With monkeys, you can be pretty sure it’s not pretty. And that he’s enjoying his distraction. 

No? You can’t tell the difference between me and all those procrastinators of the world?

Shizzle.

I have some serious self-reflection to do, which requires hours of meditation. I guess I won’t be getting to that blog award acceptance post (just as an example) any time soon. Hey, man, it’s not my fault.

Hey, don't judge me. I'm under a lot of pressure already, and now I have to deal with this procrastination thing. Well, maybe I don't have to deal with it right now...

Hey, man, don’t judge me. I’m under a lot of pressure already, and now I have to deal with this procrastination thing. Well, maybe I don’t have to deal with it right now…

Thanks to the bloggers who bestowed those lovely awards on me. I really do appreciate it!