Went to Montreal this weekend and had brunch at this neat cafe. And a blog post idea was born.

Went to Montreal this weekend and had brunch at this neat cafe. And a blog post idea was born.

I don’t know about you–heck, I hardly know about me!–but I’m getting a little eggshausted by all these hammy Easter-egg-related attempts to be a slick word-wizard.

You know what I mean. Eggsactly.

I’m no eggspert, but I’ve done it three times already (not counting the title of this post) and isn’t it starting to get on your nerves? Eggsasperating, huh? And I’ve just started.

egg cartoon

I’m not eggsagerating when I say this trend is more prevalent now than ever before. People love eggs (and when I say “people,” I mean “anyone who likes to eat the ova of birds, primarily chickens, which excludes me”). Around Easter, eggs take eggstra significance. You (and by “you,” I mean “you”) could even say they are eggsalted (something to be treasured, not salted, although many people salt their bird ova).

Makes sense once you know the history. You're going to either have to trust me on this one or do the research. My guess is that you're going to trust me. Research is hard. As hard as these hard-boiled eggs...

Makes sense once you know the history. You’re going to either have to trust me on this one or do the research. My guess is that you’re going to trust me. Research is hard. As hard as these hard-boiled eggs…

Let me eggsplain. Isn’t Easter either about the Christian celebration of the Resurrection of Christ or a pagan celebration of the coming of spring? Either way, people a long, long time ago figured this time of year was a great time to celebrate new life, and what symbolizes new life like an egg? As long as you (again, “you” means “you”) don’t eat it and let the darned thing hatch. You can check out the link I provided, but you don’t have to. It’s not like there’s going to be an eggsam at the end of this post…or will there be?

Have you had enough eggsamples of what I’m talking about? Are you eggshausted or eggshilarated? Personally, I’m ready to eggsterminate me or at least eggsile me.

But let’s take a deep breath. Good. Now eggshale.

Well, you've got the first part down flat. But you've got to let that breath go. Otherwise, you're not quite getting the relaxing thing.

Well, you’ve got the first part down flat. But you’ve got to let that breath go. Otherwise, you’re not quite getting the relaxing thing working for you.

This little eggsercise in eggscesive eggshibits to prove my point was, you’ll have to admit, eggsceptional and well-eggsecuted.

I’ll just be eggsceedingly happy when I can eggsclaim, “Happy Day After Easter!”  Then, there will be no more eggscuses for these silly egg words.

And just to prove to you that I am an eggstremely humane and kind person, here is a list of egg-words I chose not to try to force into this post:

  1. eggscell
  2. eggschange
  3. eggscitable
  4. eggsclude
  5. eggsecute
  6. eggslemplary
  7. eggsempt
  8. eggsert
  9. eggshibit
  10. eggsist
  11. eggsotic
  12. eggspenditure
  13. eggsperience
  14. eggspire
  15. eggsplode
  16. eggsplore
  17. eggspose
  18. eggspound
  19. eggspression
  20. eggstraordinary

Now, if you’ll all eggscuse me, I believe I need an egg-word eggorcism to eggspell these eggstremely annoying words from my head. Wish me luck. You may need it, too.

Well, I thinking of something a bit more traditional, but if this gets the egg-words to eggsit my brain, well, okay, I'll give it a go.

Well, I was thinking of something a bit more traditional, but if this gets the egg-words to eggsit my brain, well, okay, I’ll give it a go.