Don't get your tightie-whities in a tangle, Robin, I'm calling Commissioner Gordon to see if I can clear up the confusion.

Don’t get your tightie-whities in a tangle, Robin, I’m calling Commissioner Gordon to see if I can clear up the confusion.

Before you think I’ve gone all egotistical on you, let me explain.

I met a rare and wonderful person here in the Blogosphere. Yes, I could be speaking about any one of you. But I’m referring to a fellow blogger (who isn’t a “fellow” at all) and her name is…are you ready for this…Lorna.

That's Lorna. Not me, but Lorna. I know it's confusing because we're both foxy blonde authors. Sorry. You'll just have to live with it like we do.

That’s Lorna. Not me, but Lorna. I know it’s confusing because we’re both foxy blonde authors. Sorry. You’ll just have to live with it like we do.

Yup. Lorna. I mean, how many Lornas do you know? I only know a handful and one of them is a fictional character.

But this one–Lorna Dounaeva–just released her first book TODAY on Amazon. It’s called Fry.

This looks intriguing, huh?

This looks intriguing, huh? Even psychologically thrilling…

There are three things you should know about women named Lorna (these traits may apply to men named Lorna; you never know):

  1. We support each other through thick and thin. That’s why I’m doing this interview with her and telling you all about her novel that debuts TODAY!
  2. We’re not all blonde. At least I don’t think so.
  3. We may have the same name, but we are individuals. Note how short her book title is compared to how long mine is. Her book is a novel; mine is a memoir. Her novel is a thriller; mine is more like Phyllis Diller.
Imagine her writing a scary novel. Okay. So maybe she does look a little scary. It doesn't mean she could write something scary. Work with me, People.

Imagine her writing a scary novel. Okay. So maybe she does look a little scary. It doesn’t mean she could write something scary. Work with me, People.

So without further blathering from me, lets get to know something about Lorna…

The Interview

Lorna: Tell me the story of Lorna the Aspiring Author. (I’m dressed in hot pink and Lorna D is in that snappy green outfit.)

Lorna: I knew I wanted to be an author when I was five years old and I found out what one was. I also remember being asked to write an essay on my favourite possession when I was about seven. I called it ‘My Victorian Imagination’ and proceeded to write a ten page epic about time-travel. My teacher was incredibly bemused. Not least because I didn’t leave many gaps between the words and when I made a mistake, I turned it into a flowerpot.

Lorna: Well, that shows a great deal of ambition, creativity, and inability to follow instructions. You were destined for greatness! Who or what inspired or inspires you as a writer? As a person?

Lorna: I’m inspired by films such as the Exorcist, Donnie Darko and anything by David Lynch and writers such as Marian Keyes, Jane Austin and Sophie Hannah. Also, just the little things in life can be very inspiring. The way the leaves fall off the trees or the amount of hair it takes to clog up the drain-pipe.

Lorna : Hmm. Your tendency to be so observant of nature and plumbing make you a natural for Buddhism. But we Buddhists rarely see good and evil in such black and white terms like in the “Exorcist.” But that film was in color as I recall. Moving on… Fry is a psychological thriller. Was there anything about writing in this genre that surprised you? If so what? If not, why not?

Lorna: I was surprised to find myself writing in this genre at all! When I was little, I thought I’d write boarding school stories. Then, when I grew up, I thought romance. But my mind must be a lot more sinister than I realised, because when I sat down to write, it wasn’t all fluff and rainbows as I’d imagined.

Lorna: I understand. I tried writing with Fluff and that stuff is very sticky. Speaking of sticky… if writing was a road way and your job was to make up a sign to caution new writers just merging onto that road, what would the sign read?

Lorna: Since I can’t drive, I’m really the wrong person to ask! And I’d probably be driving on the wrong side of the road for most people reading this, since I’m from the UK. (Actually, I had a few driving lessons in Ukraine once, but the driving instructor wasn’t even in the car with me most of the time.) I suppose my sign would be a U-turn. Don’t do what I did! It took me years to write my first novel. I didn’t plan it at all and I ended up going into labour in the middle of writing it. Two babies later and it’s finally done.

Lorna: Are you psychotic psychic, like me, Lorna? That answer fed perfectly into my next question. Who are you besides Lorna the Author?

Lorna: I’m Lorna the Mum. My babies turned into active toddlers and I spend most of my time running after them, mopping food off the ceiling and pretending to do the housework. Before I had the children, I was a politics graduate and worked at the British Home Office. I also enjoyed karaoke and obsessed over who would win the Eurovision Song Contest.

Lorna: Karaoke! Now you’re singing my tune. I always wanted one of those home Karaoke machine, how about you? No wait, I’m going off track here…What is the most out-of-character thing you’ve ever done (that you’ll admit to in public)?

Lorna: I once got into a dance-off with a troupe of flamenco dancers! Worse still, I dragged my friends into it too. For people who know me well, it will come as no surprise that I used to collect My Little Ponies. Yes, that’s the children’s toy and no, it wasn’t that long ago. Anyway, I was with some fellow collectors at an engagement party and we were feeling a bit sheepish about admitting how we knew the bride-to-be (a fellow collector.)  So when someone asked if we part of her flamenco troupe, we readily agreed. We continued to tell people we were the flamenco dancers all night and enjoyed being able to mingle with the other guests without anyone thinking we were strange. Until a stern-faced woman came up to us. “How do you know the bride-to-be?” she asked. “We’re the flamenco dancers,” I replied with a now quite practised shrug. She rose up to her full height. “No, we’re the flamenco dancers!” she spat, indicating herself and her friends.

I could tell things were about to turn ugly. A challenge was thrown down. Everyone cleared the dance-floor. A couple of guitar players appeared and started to play. The real flamenco dancers went first. They were good, really good, stomping about in their noisy shoes. Then it was our turn. What my friends and I lacked in skill, we made up for in conviction. We stomped and strutted up and down the dance-floor, cheered on by the crowd. All the time, I could feel the glare of the real flamenco dancers. Flamenco is clearly not something you joke about. After we’d finished our performance, a neutral party asked the audience to vote by show of hands. To my delight, they liked our rendition best. The flamenco dancers were furious! My friends and I grabbed our bottle of Lambrini and snuck out the back. The ridiculous thing, the bride-to-be informed me the next day, is that I was the one who demanded the dance-off in the first place! Damn that Lambrini!

Lorna: Well, that was a fun interview! Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself with us. Now lets hear something more formal about you and your novel.

About the Author

Lorna Dounaeva is a British blogger and author of mainly psychological thrillers. Her debut novel, FRY, goes on sale on Amazon on 12th March. She is a politics, social psychology and European Studies graduate who worked for the civil service, primarily the Home Office, for a number of years. She lives in Surrey, England with her husband, two children and a quirky sense of humour.

About “Fry”

She acts like she’s your new best friend, but is she really a deadly enemy?

When Isabel Anderson nearly runs over mysterious Alicia McBride, she is ridden with guilt. She helps Alicia get a job at the supermarket where she works, and soon, Alicia is acting like her new best friend. But then strange fires start to break out all over the small seaside town of Queensbeach, including at the caravan park where Alicia is staying. Isabel suspects Alicia knows more than she’s letting on and grows increasingly nervous when her friend Deacon invites Alicia to stay with him. But it’s Isabel the police suspect.

Determined to confront Alicia, Isabel bursts into her room and sees the word ‘FRY’ branded across her back in capital letters. From then on, she sees the word “FRY’ everywhere she goes; in graffiti, on toilet walls, even on car registration plates. Then her beloved cat, Fluffy disappears and Isabel is convinced Alicia is behind it. She puts up posters all over her neighbourhood, but as fast as she puts them up, someone takes them down. Soon, a whole spate of fires is breaking out and Isabel must stay one step ahead of the flames and the
police. In order to survive, she must question her own innocence, her sanity and the very fabric of her morality. Can she win back Deacon? And will she ever find Fluffy?

FRY is a fast-paced psychological thriller in the tradition of Sophie Hannah and Julia Crouch.

Information About Lorna Dounaeva and Where to Buy the Book

Fry on Amazon UK

Fry on Amazon USA

Lorna’s website

Join Lorna on Twitter 

Connect with Lorna on Linkedin

View Lorna’s Facebook page

I’ll be buying Lorna’s book and reading it so I can write a review. Watch for that review in a post sometime in the future.

I'm a bit busy now doing some self-help reading brought on by unresolved issues raised while writing my memoir. It happens...

I’m a bit busy now doing some self-help reading brought on by unresolved issues raised while writing my memoir. It happens…