Sometimes you just never know what you're wandering into around here.

Sometimes you just never know what you’re wandering into around here.

You can blame this post on Darla over at She’s A Maineiac. Or you can thank her. We’ll see how this turns out.

Yesterday she was kind of bored uninspired, so she defaulted to asking her loyal readers (and there are plenty of us) a series of questions about blogging.

It makes sense. She’s a blogger. This is a blogging platform. We’re bloggers. And apparently all of her classwork was either done or she didn’t care that it wasn’t. So, why not post about blogging?

Well, I just couldn’t answer all of her questions in a comment. That would have been a waste of a perfectly good blog post of my own. I’m not as blonde dumb as I look. Well, actually, I am a blonde as I look.

Even my hair dresser says she wishes she could bottle my natural color and give it to her clients.

Even my hair dresser says she wishes she could bottle my natural color and give it to her clients.

Without further ado and since I don’t have any classwork and that next book I’m supposed to be starting apparently can wait, here are Darla’s questions and my answers. I hope you’re listening, Darla.

  1. Why in the hell do you blog? Darla, do you really need to use such foul language to get me to answer your bloody questions? I run a G-rated blog (the “G” stands for “Goofy”). Anyway, I blog to save the world. I’m really just saving my world, but my world is a world worth saving.

    Okay. Sometimes I need help from my other awesome friends. Hey, this is a community, right?

    Okay. Sometimes I need help from my other awesome friends. Hey, this is a community, right?

  2. How did you discover blogging? What was your initial impression? Um, two questions in one. Are you purposefully trying to be tricky here? Do you think the number 2 means you get to ask 2 questions? I think you are secretly studying to be a lawyer or CIA Interrogator. A) I read about blogging in a book about how to get my writing read and published. It all sounded so legitimate and easy in the book, which I found in the non-fiction section. I think it was misfiled. B) I felt as if I was talking to myself, which I was.

    Saving the world takes a variety of approaches.

    Saving the world takes a variety of approaches.

  3. Were you shy and withdrawn as a child or gregarious? I was shy as a child, but what does that have to do with blogging. Your CIA Interrogator training is becoming more obvious.
  4. What does gregarious mean? It means you love to get up in front of people and chant in strange and oddly soothing ways. Look it up.

    A little libation, a little chanting...what's not to be happy about?

    A little libation, a little chanting…what’s not to be gregarious about?

  5. How close is your ‘blogging’ persona to the real you? Do you ever know who the “real you” is? For all I you know, I could be an bitter,  fiercely independent Finnish woman who distrusts Americans and got pregnant by a Jewish man in occupied Paris in the 1930s. No wait! That’s one of the characters in my new book.
  6. How has blogging changed you or your life? I have more blog friends and fewer real friends (who don’t want to hear about my blog).

    I only accepted your dinner invitation with the provision that you would not talk about that blog of yours and we would talk about Beauregard's concern for safety in the dog food industry.

    I only accepted your dinner invitation with the provision that you would not talk about that blog of yours and we would talk about Beauregard’s concern for safety in the dog food industry.

  7. Do you consider yourself to be a ‘writer’? Heck yes! I wrote a book. And I write lots of lists.
  8. Do you prefer to write, then edit, edit, edit or just throw up on a page and be done with it? Vomiting makes the blood vessels in my face burst so I look like I’ve just been in an altercation with a brick wall. So I prefer to edit until I drop from exhaustion with the knowledge that there are still glaring errors in what I’ve writen. (I left that error in on purpose.)
  9. How confident are you after you hit that dreaded ‘publish’ button? I am very confident that I published something.
  10. Have you ever regretted something you’ve written? No. My motto: Never regret anything that one day might make you laugh. So far everything I’ve done has made me laugh.

    Let's be clear. This is not my dog. And It often takes a while to find the humor in some things...

    Let’s be clear. This is not my dog. And It often takes a while to find the humor in some things…

  11. Have you ever been 100% satisfied with something you’ve written? 100%? That’s a lot of percents. I’m not an “absolute” kind of girl. Well, I used to be, during my vodka-drinking days, but not so much anymore. There’s always room for improvement and the imperfections are reminders that I’m human. I need to be reminded of that a lot, because I have this notion that I’m perfect–or should be.
  12. When you write, do you have a certain audience in mind? Readers, mostly.

    Sometimes my posts have a wide appeal.

    Sometimes my posts have an amazingly wide appeal.

  13. What will you never, ever, ever, like totally ever write about and why not? Philip has specifically asked me not to write about our wowza antics in the area of our home where most people generally sleep. For a former Marine, you’d think he wouldn’t be so shy about such things, but he is. And this is, as I said, a “G-rated” blog. (The “G” stands for “Golly, Gee, Gratifying.”) But I would never write about that intimate stuff. Ever.
  14. Can you write a post for me? Sure, but…

    Always remember to be careful what you ask for...

    Always remember to be careful what you ask for…

So are you mad at Darla or happy she posted a blog about blogging? I suggest you go on over to her place and let her know. Better yet, post your own blog in answer to her questions and let’s have her be the start of a new blog virus! She’d love that!

Patient Zero

Patient Zero