Now this is ironic

Does the very idea of this personal hygiene aide make you speechless. Well, then, welcome to my world.

Does the very idea of this personal hygiene aid, The Shermac, render you speechless? Well, then, welcome to my world.

Except for when I’ve been:

…scared out of my shorts (and the “freeze response” follows the hollow sucking sound of my hopefully not last breath)

….embarrassed by some real or imagined stupid mistake or flattering compliment

….disgusted to the point the juvenile eye-roll

…sleeping (snoring while suffering from nasal congestion does NOT count)

…listening to someone who mistook my open mouth as a sign of amazement and not a failed attempt to speak

…comatose from either too much alcohol, anesthesia, or lecturing

I’ve never been at a loss for something to say. I’m a sociologist, for pity’s sake. We make it our life’s ambition to be long-winded.

My next book.

My next book.

But I’ve spent all day trying to think of a snappy, up-to-my-usual-standards-of-hilariosity post, and, you know what? I couldn’t do it. I got nothing, People.

Over that last few days–and I hope you’ve noticed–I’ve been catching up on reading your posts. You keep coming up with great topics. How the heck do you keep doing it? How the heck did I keep doing it? I did keep doing, didn’t I?

Okay, so maybe "great" is an overstatement. I'm sure a few of my posts could have used some, uh, adjustments.

Okay, so maybe “great” is an overstatement. I’m sure a few of my posts could have used some, uh, adjustments.

Brace yourselves, People. I think I have…GULP…blognesia. Yup. I can’t remember how to write a Lorna’s Voiceworthy post.

Who the heck is Lorna’s Voice, anyway? What did The Voice of Lorna sound like? Did Christina pick me? Tell me it wasn’t that country western dude. Or Cee Lo. I may have blognesia, but I know I’m not into the country western heart-break kid kind of man or humongus blingy guys. At least I don’t think so. Why am I even talking about this? Because I have blognesia that’s why! And I’m not responsible for anything I am saying. Am I saying anything?

I thought not.

I thought not.

Is there a cure for blognesia?

I searched on Google and didn’t even find the word, so my chances for getting information about a cure are looking pretty bad. Maybe after I post this, I’ll find something. Actually that’s not true. There were like 86,000 entries, but none with MY definition of blognesia, so that’s still counts, right? Blognesia is defined on the internet as blogs losing posts or as bloggers forgetting what posts they wrote about. That’s just silly. But I’m still sunk. I can’t even make up an original made up word.

Move over, Mister. You lose.

Move over, Mister Loser. I was here first and  I have size on my side. And size matters, Mister.  Take your definition, I mean butt off of my settee.

Has blognesia ever happened to you?

You probably don’t remember, so never mind.

I think I’m just going to have to wait this one out. On the bright side, I won’t remember why I’m waiting, so I probably won’t feel too stressed about it. Stress makes me feel more dizzy and feeling more dizzy always makes my hair more blonde. Why does that happen? Maybe I can look that up on Google. Hmmm. 6,720,000 hits. I’ll be busy for a while looking up this one.

Hey Baby, riddle me this. Every time I get stressed, like when someone makes me chase my tail, I get dizzy. And then my hair, uh, fur, gets blonder. Why is that? You look like a kid that's got it all together.  Just tell me because my internet skills are doggone lousy.

Hey Baby, riddle me this. Every time I get stressed, like when someone makes me chase my tail, I get dizzy. And then my hair, uh, fur, gets blonder.  See my nose. That’s what I’m talking about. Why is that? You look like a kid that’s got it all together. Just tell me because my internet skills are doggone lousy.

While I’m recuperating…if I recuperate…you might want to pop over to Vanessa’s blog to read a nice interview she did with me about my book. Thankfully she did it before this blognesia hit me. She’s giving away a free copy of my book to a lucky commenter. It’s worth every bit of the freeness.

There are lots of things for free out there. But my book is really worth it. You'd be taking a risk on either of these two...

There are lots of things for free out there. But my book is really worth it. You’d be taking a risk on either of these two…

~ by Lorna's Voice on January 22, 2013.

37 Responses to “Now this is ironic”

  1. 🙂

  2. YAY … I’ve found it. I must keep my mind quiet and stop trying to do so many things. I’m sure that’s how I lost these instructions. Now, I feel so much better.
    I can’t wait to see you on the “Katie” show promoting this subject – “How to be a GREAT writer and get published through a small venue called Blogging”. Okay … I get credit for the interview topic. hahahaha … !!!!
    Hugs
    Izzy xoxo

  3. I know … I am serious, but gotta take a break now and then. whew! Laugh at everything … thats my motto

  4. I agree. There’s enough serious stuff out there…

  5. hahaha … lets never find out. 😀

  6. You may be on to something there, Shonnie. I should switch to writing some high-brow editorials. That would straighten out a few kinks in my wobbly brain! But what would I do with my vast collection of zany photographs? 😉

  7. Your posts stink Lorna … I think you should just go ahead and throw in the towel. (not wanting to steal your place in the sun at all). Your brain is dead from writing silly!

  8. Yup, one of the two… 😉

  9. That’s the wonder of life. Or the scary part. One of the two.

  10. It’s comments like these, Bulldog, that make me forget I have bolgnesia. Wait, is that an oxymoron? 😉

  11. Okay, but there’s no telling what might happen…

  12. Very nice to meet you, too! Vanessa did a great job with that interview–she’s a treasure. I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed what you read, but sorry you had to read that post about my “blognesia.” I was feeling rather sorry for myself. When This idea hit me, though, I had to get it out there.

    I usually don’t post two days in a row. I follow so many blogs that I appreciate a blogger who keeps her/his posts to just a few a week. That way I have a chance at keeping up with my reading! 🙂

  13. I started following after reading your wonderful interview on Vanessa’s blog. (I’d like to come over for dinner too – sounds lovely and healthy!) I have to say, this is the first post of yours I have read, and I want to stick around because you made me laugh talking about the fact that you have nothing to say. It made me think, wow, when this lady cures her blognesia then what? Actually, I realise that may make you feel pressure. On the other hand, sounds to me like you don’t need a cure. Nice to meet you!

  14. They ALWAYS do that!!!! I hate it. Go for it.

  15. If this is what you can blog when you can’t think of anything funny to blog about… I still have such a long way to go… I loved this post…

  16. Thanks. I was wondering is I could still pull off it off. You just validated that I could. There maybe be hope for a recovery after all!

  17. And those people have no idea what they heck they are talking about…ever. Kind of like lots of countries I know… 😉

  18. Yes, and a full-body massage. Don’t you think that should be part of the cure? 😉

  19. That’s the double meaning of the blog post title! 😉 Maybe I haven’t totally lost it…

  20. Thanks, Sara. I just wish I knew that the prognosis for a blognesiac’s recovery was. I’m sure part of the treatment must require a full body massage!

  21. I figure it has to do with the stress of all the book related-stuff, too. And it, like all things in my life (even constipation) will pass! Thanks for the empathy. I have to remember I have this little issue of Chronic Fatigue that affects my brain in unsavory ways…

    As for putting my book on your sidebar…first, THANKS! It’s pretty simple. First got to my page and right click on the image of the book. You’ll get a pop-up box with an option to copy the image URL. select that. Then got to your widgets. Using the Image option, add an Image. You can add a title like “Lorna’s Memoir.” Then under “Image Url, just paste (Control-V) and the url will appear in that box. You also have an option to link the image to a destination. You can link it to my page about the book. https://lornasvoice.com/how-was-i-supposed-to-know-a-memoir/ That way people will go there if they hover their cursor over the image. Then save the image widget and test it. You can also add text that you think will entice your readers to click on the picture.

    Maybe that didn’t sound so simple, but once you see the Image Widget, it’s pretty clear.

    If it’s too complicated, you could always add me temporarily as an authorized user on your blog and I could do this for you. Once it is done (a few minutes), you just take me off as a user. That’s how people add contributing writers to their blog…

    Way too much info?

  22. I noticed how prolific you are! 😉 Since I’m so conflict-averse, I don’t know if that cure will work for me, but I may have to give it a try. I might start with how much it ticks me off when grocery stores stop carrying my favorite brand of something. I mean, the nerve! 😉

  23. I got stuck on a blog title for something else I wanted to write for more than an hour–that’s when I started to get worried…After doing a few loads of laundry, I came up with this post. What’s a blogger to do? 😉

  24. Thanks, Hope! Maybe I still I a little Lorna Mojo after all… 😉

  25. Blognesia makes me think of bolognaise 🙂 I have noticed you catching up…thanks for the smile, Lorna 🙂

  26. hehe … you can have blognesia any day in my book (oops, didn’t mean to make book references … maybe another version of BN?)

  27. I get rid of blognesia by writing about something that pisses me off. Works every time and there are so very many things that piss me off I am rarely at a loss.

  28. Not to worry, dear Lorna … it happens to all of us. I get exhausted with my immune problems and then get in a slump. It’s hard to be energized when you’re exhausted. YUP .. the book schedule and other lil bits that went along with it are probably the culprit.
    I like Al’s description of blognesia is perfect. It does sound like a country. Hang in there .. I was missin’ you but figured you were out in book parades. hahaha I will be waiting with baited breath. ~~~~~ : – )
    Namaste
    Izzy xoxo
    How do I put your book on my sidebar to promote it so people could go to Amazon and get it. I could use a new award on the sidebar. xoxo

  29. It happens all the time to me. I just step away from the blog because unlike you I can’t make something like blognesia sound entertaining. You’ve got the gift whether you have something to say or not! Good luck with your recovery!

  30. Blognesia–it’s normal. Happens all the time. It’s why I post only once a week. Less chance of having it happen too often. But for not knowing what to blog about? Well, you did well… 🙂

  31. I like your description of “blognesia” way better than any of those others! And oh yes, I think that after finishing and publishing a book and now embarking on all the tasks of promoting that book, that your blognesia is very well-earned. Our brains get frayed. The good news is, if you’re like me, that blognesia will gradually do a turnaround and become a well of new ideas once you’ve given yourself a little R&R.

  32. I’m pretty sure Blognesia is a country they made out of the old Soviet Union. It’s right on the border of Blogistan.

  33. Blognesia did not tamper with your humour, and that’s the good part. Lovely post! 🙂

  34. No. Not at all! I think it’s been all the varied tasks of getting this book out on Amazon then coming up with marketing strategies. Even the smallest bit of stress whacks me out and I get dizzy and useless. It’s a discouraging reminder of why I had to retire from teaching. I wanted to start a story about an adventure from when I was younger that never made it into the book. It would have been a series and it’s a darn funny story. But I got stuck on the title for hours. It will come and I’ll write and post it. I just have to let my self breathe and relax…

  35. I sure hope so–I mean the voice returning–I know I have wonderful, reliable friends!

  36. Don’t worry about your Blognesia. Believe it or not you have friends here, and friends will always wait , confident that your voice will soon return with it’s normal impressive strength

  37. Oh dear, I hope it wasn’t my tough interviewing tactics that caused you to get blognesia!

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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