Funny, I don’t feel any different…

Is it on? I'm not feeling it. Are you sure it's on?

Is it on? I’m not feeling it. Are you sure it’s on?

I’m not sure what I expected, but I expected something.

Maybe it was:

  • the hours of formating and re-formating that turned my already dizzy blonde head inside-out
  • the virus that has set up shop in any body part I used to use for breathing purposes
  • the fact that I can see an image on a screen but not hold anything in my hands, so like George Clooney, it’s just not the same
I can see him, but I can't touch him, so, really, what's the point?

I can see him, but I can’t touch him, so, really, what’s the point?

But, People, the fact remains that I am now officially a published author.

This girl was destined for something...I just don't know what. Let's hope it's lots of book sales. It's sure not modeling.

This girl was destined for something…I just don’t know what. Let’s hope it’s lots of book sales. It’s sure not modeling.

My memoir, How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost is available for purchase at both Amazon. com and Smashwords. I’m working on the paperback version next. My mom won’t read it unless it’s in paperback. Maybe you have moms like that, too.

If you want to learn more about the book, I’ve created a special page right here on my blog. Cleverly, I named the page, How Was I Supposed to Know, A Memoir?Β  Pretty smart, huh?

Here are some interesting facts about the book:

  • Depending on how you define “start writing,” I started writing this book 51, 11, 6.5, 2.5, or 1 year(s) ago.
  • It’s almost 115,000 words, which is a lot of words, even for me. The paperback will be nearly 400 pages long. But, let’s face it, I’ve had a lot of crazy adventures.
  • I couldn’t use my trademark zany pictures and captions like I do in my blog posts in this book, because I hear copyright violations like that would land me in the Big House, and I’m not talking the Governor’s Mansion. But the book has lots of my own photographs and is full of my trademark humor.
  • I decided to self-publish because I am too sensitive to withstand repeated rejection letters from insensitive agents and publishers.
  • I priced the book at $5.99. Lots of laughs, hours of entertainment, no calories, and less money than most lunches or movie ticket you could buy. Now that’s a deal!

So, people, I sure have appreciated your support of me and my blog and my writing so far. Please don’t stop now! If a quirky memoir from one of your favorite bloggers isn’t your kind thing in the reading department, maybe you know someone who would like to read a book about how to face life’s challenges with a positive attitude. And have a lot a laughs along the way. Tell them about my book.

Yeah, well, you don't want to overdo it. You know what I mean, right?

Yeah, well, you don’t want to overdo it. You know what I mean, right?

You know I’m both Face Book and Twitter Challenged. Maybe you could help spread the word for me. Give a sick dizzy blonde a hand. (I know, I need to take a course in marketing, but I’m exhausting. Give me a break. The “Pity Pitch” is all that is coming to mind right now.)

Yes, Sweetie, I know just how you feel.

Yes, Sweetie, I know just how you feel.

Any help you can give me by:

  • buying my book
  • reading my book
  • reviewing it
  • telling others about it

would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much!

Ooh. I just love you all so much!

Ooh. I just love you all so much!

~ by Lorna's Voice on January 13, 2013.

71 Responses to “Funny, I don’t feel any different…”

  1. Thanks so much for the support and for stopping by to comment! πŸ™‚

  2. Thanks so much, Paulette. It’s been a steep learning curve, but well worth it!

  3. Congratulations and wishing you tons of success and good luck with your book. Paulette

  4. congratulations! πŸ™‚

  5. This has been quite the journey. If I didn’t have a computer wiz living with me, I couldn’t have done it. He’s working on fixing the format errors on Smashwords as I type this. All the books make it sound so easy, but it’s not!

    You were wise to let a pro do it. I hate to have to let everyone know that they should load a corrected version on their e-readers. But, I suppose I’m not the first, nor will I be the last.

    Good luck with your launch! Looking forward to your announcement. πŸ™‚

  6. Oh, my…You’re making me nervous as I await to publish my eBook within days. Unlike yourself, I had the formatting done for me. I just didn’t find the formatting instructions to be direct. I’m sure I was overlooking something.

  7. Just to let you know, I found a slew of minor gaffs when I was reading the print version. I plan to put an updated version of the book on Smashwords this weekend so you should be able to download the cleaner version for free. I can’t promise that it will be totally free of errors–lord knows I’ve lost faith in my ability to create an error free book, but I gave it my best try.

  8. I agree! πŸ™‚

  9. CONGRATS IZZY!!! How exciting! Margie

  10. You’re welcome. I’m getting it on Barnes and Noble or Smashwords since I have the Nook. I read a bit of it on the Amazon site. I hope you get Drew Barrymore to play you. I don’t know who could play me, especially since I don’t plan on writing a memoir. That’s getting real naked.

  11. I just added the book to Goodreads. You should be able to find it there. Again, I’m so glad you enjoyed the book and thanks for writing a review of it!

  12. Thanks! I discovered that picture while going through old photos for the book and I just knew that had to be on the cover. Is that girl clueless or what? πŸ˜‰

  13. She’s the best!

  14. You are too funny, Izzy! SO you have the same sunglasses, eh? I wish I still had those, but I’m afraid they are long gone–the hat, too. Oh well… πŸ˜‰ And yes, I will always love you. That’s an easy promise to keep!

  15. Thanks SO MUCH, Izzy! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  16. Thanks, just responded to your email!

  17. I didn’t put my book on Goodreads, but I’ll look into it. In the meantime, could you put that comment on Amazon? and rate it for me? Wow! You read it quickly! Thanks so very much!

    I’ll let you when I get it on Goodreads–so much to learn! πŸ˜‰

  18. Thanks, Peter. I purposefully left some surprises just for the book, so my loyal blog followers would have something new to read in the book. I hope you enjoy it! πŸ™‚

  19. I’ve read of many of your experiences through your blog, and always admired the bravery and character you displayed in relating them. I shall try and obtain the book through Amazon. I’m sure it will ne succesful

  20. What a ride! I mean read! Both! I just finished your book. I loved it beyond comments! Although I have read your blog forever, there is still newness in your book. Or is it just that I can’t remember anything?

    What got me the most was how you were/are able to look at your life and stitch together how one thing affects another and how everything is related. And you are genuinely happy right now!!


    I would like to post a comment on Goodreads, but can’t find it there yet.

  21. Yay for you! I’m emailing you later today about the promised interview! πŸ™‚

  22. Reblogged this on Inside the Mind of Isadora and commented:
    This is a fabulous book you must get and start reading. You will love the way Lorna writes. It’s fun ….

  23. OMG … I almost missed the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. WOW … will you still love me when you’re famous? I have to pinch myself. I know another published writer. I have hit the jackkpot. I suppose that’s why I’ve learned so much about writing. Little did I know …???!!!!
    Hey, how do I get a signed copy. Yes, get that special pen out for signatures. You are going to be in every Barnes and Noble store with writers cramps following you out the door at the end of the day. SSSooo …. in the morning I am posting this on my Facebook….AND … I want two copies. …. And …. Oh my, I can’t breath. The excitement is overwhelming. My fingers are smiling. Is this cyber sex.??? hahaha
    I think CONGRATULATIONS is such a small word for you. I wish you the biggest success and hope that there will be more to come.
    Oh … almost forgot … Love the title … perfect.
    AND … those sunglasses … my hubby gave me the same pair in white last year for x’mas. Is that a hoot ??? I have to figure out a way to post them photo on my blog. x’mas morning pix’s are never pretty. hahaha I knew we were soul sista’s. hahaha
    Really … I am so happy for you. Lots of success and hugs and love
    Izzy xoxoxo

  24. Yes it is cool beans. and i saw it on yours and mine buddys facebook page. That buddy would be J.A.M you know Aurora!

  25. AWESOME! I got myself a kindle copy and I hope I can seek some more time to devour as much as I can! Rockin’ cover, did I tell you? πŸ˜€

  26. Will do!

  27. Thanks so much Sara!

  28. Oh Lorna! We’re all just so proud of you! Congratulations and happy sales!

  29. Wow! That’s a lot of exclamation points! But I think the occasion calls for it. πŸ™‚ Be sure to tell me what you think! πŸ™‚

  30. I added a bunch when I saw how easy it was to do it. I also have my author page up now. Thanks SO MUCH for the words of wisdom. You are truly a gem! πŸ™‚

  31. Lorna,

    I added tags to your book but will add more if you give me a list of what you want.

  32. WOO-HOO!!
    CAN’T WAIT TO GET MY COPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Yes, yes, yes. An honest review is the best review. But if you want to turn actual pages, you’ll have to wait for a few more weeks. The paperback won’t be ready until who knows when. It’s a different process that publishing a e-book. I’ll let you know when it’s available. I can’t wait to see it in physical form, all 412 pages of it.

  34. I think you may be right. I have no idea where this will go, but that’s okay. I’ll look back on it and say, “How was I supposed to know?” πŸ˜‰

  35. Oh, wonderful–reading and candy! Make sure to tell me what you think of it when you’re done! πŸ™‚

  36. Thanks so much. When I was a little girl, I told everyone who would listen, “I have a book inside of me.” Well, now it’s outside of me! πŸ™‚

  37. I know. This dizzy blonde actually did it! πŸ˜‰

  38. I’ll be sure to let everyone know when the paperback is ready for purchase and thanks so much for being my social media maven! πŸ™‚ After a ton of reformating issues, the final version of the paperback came out to 412 pages–can you believe it?

  39. Thanks so much for the advice, Casey. I thought I added tags, but I’ll go back and set up my author page and check the tags out. And thanks for buy the book. Whenever you get to it, be sure to let me know what you think of it. I’m almost halfway through “An Island No More” and loving it! πŸ™‚

  40. Wow, Al, you’re breezing through it! Make sure to write a review so I can include it in my “Praise for the Book” section and include it on the sites to help market it. You’re a gem! I’m so glad you like it. How do you like the pictures?

  41. The link to purchase the ebook on either Amazon or Smashwords (depending on the type of e-reader you have) is in the post but also on the page about the book. Just click on the image of the book on my blog and it will take you to that page. Scroll the the bottom and you’ll see the link. If you want a physical copy of the book, a paperback is in the works. Thank for your support, Tots!

  42. Bless your big and wonderful heart, my Soul Sister! πŸ™‚

  43. Thanks so much, J! I do hope you enjoy reading it and be sure to tell me what you think, okay? πŸ™‚

  44. Cool! It’s circulating on Face Book! I don’t have an account so one of my blogger buddies must have done that for me. As for propping up your table, you’ll have to wait for the paperback, which won’t be out for a few weeks (unless you want to use your e-reader). But I warn you–it’s a hefty book–412 pages. It may throw the balance off the other way! πŸ˜‰

  45. I knew I could count on you, Gerry! πŸ™‚ Thanks so much!

  46. Will oblige quite happily, well done and good luck..;)

  47. So i just found out about your book via FACEBOOK! the word is spreading. And i am going now to buy it as i have a night table that is leaning a little and placing your book under one of the legs should help support it and level it out.

  48. Lorna congratulations! I’ll happily spread the word and look forward to reading your book.

  49. Twittered, Facebooked and will add to my book page as Elyse did, too! πŸ™‚ Congrats, Divine Ms. L, you rock!

  50. Congrats, Lorna. Did I miss the link to where to purchase?

  51. Reading it now Lorna…… it…….it’s like having Lorna on Demand. I have to stop for a while….just read the part about the church “Incident” and now have to go take my apoplexy medicine!

  52. Lorna,

    You need to set up your author page with Amazon. You do that through Author Central. You should also add some tags so if readers/buyers are looking for something, let’s say memoirs, and hit that as a search item, you book would come up. I just liked it and will set up my tags based on your comments from this post. You should ask your readers where you blog to do the same. Also put it on the page you set up on your blog.

    Also just bought it but don’t know when I’ll get to it as I’m swamped with editing my next book.

  53. Congratulations, Lorna! What a great achievement. Well done! I’ll buy the paperback, and tweet some Lorna gems xx

  54. YESSSS!!

  55. Congrats girl!!!

  56. Got it and am reading it now! Thanks for the best excuse ever to not do housework. And I mean that in a most complimentary way. Reading a good (great) book is always better than anything, except chocolate, but I am ambidextrous so can do both at the same time. Back to the reading.

  57. Wow, Lorna, you pulled it off. Congrats! Now…I wonder where all of this will go. Reserving your “feeling different” for the next step may be a great idea.

  58. Lorna, in no particular order: I shall buy your book, read it (are you sure you want me to ‘review’ it?) and Iwill use all my might to spread the word (though, truthfully, some people I treasure the most I tend to keep to myself – why should I share them with all and sundry, mean cow that I am. Still, I will make an exception in your case).

    Congratulations from the one who was once so spellbound on discovering your blog I spent a whole night with you, reading the back catalogue from the beginning. At last I can now do what I prefer which is to turn pages!

    I am so happy for you. It’s a great achievement every which way. Not least pulling off the combo of real life with such wit and humour. Hold on! I am not yet reviewing.

    Much love,

  59. Oh, thanks Elyse! That’s great! You’re a gem. πŸ™‚

  60. Thanks! πŸ™‚

  61. Thanks for the kind words and the support. I just had to reformat the paperback book, so it’s a bit over 400 pages. Something about gutters… Learning curves are getting me all twisted around! The paperback should be out in a couple of weeks. I’ll be sure to let you all know!

  62. Thanks so much! πŸ™‚

  63. Thanks Diana! You’ve always been so supportive! I can’t believe this day finally arrived.

  64. Thanks, DJ! I just reblogged on Legends. Any help you can give me is wonderful!

  65. Reblogged this on Legends Undying and commented:

    Since most of this blog’s readers tend to be of the writer’y variety, I wanted to let you know that I’ve just released my very first book, How Was I Supposed to Know? The Adventures of a Girl Whose Name Means Lost. It’s Available Starting today on Amazon and Smashwords. Check out this post on my blog for more details.

    Thanks for you support! Lorna

  66. Congratulations Lorna

    You should Definitely do a Post about it on “Legends Undying”, or Repost this one, or whatever you’d like to do.

    I’ll put a Link for your Book Page, or a Link to where to Purchase it, as a Widget on “Legends Undying”… Whichever you prefer

    Good Job, and Good Luck!


  67. Woo Hoo! Con-grat-u-la-tions! I’m heading on over to Amazon to check you out. And for those who are kindleless or Nookless, you can always download an e-reader app on your smartphone (if you have one). I love reading on my i-Phone. If my Kindle dies, I may not even replace it.

  68. Congratulations on publishing your book! That’s fantastic. I really hope it’s a big sucess!

  69. I am so excited and happy for you! My Kindle died, but as soon as I have the fundage to replace it or your paperback comes out (whichever comes first), I will be one of your readers … your honesty and humor here in your blog have always impressed and inspired me : ).

  70. This is wonderful, Lorna. πŸ™‚

  71. Congratulations!!!!!! I’lladd this to my book page!

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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