I don’t know what’s got a hold on me, but I sure as heck found something I can get a hold on…and it isn’t reality, People.

Yup. Something’s definitely got a hold on me. And it’s making me behave in curious, refreshing and eerie ways.

Whatever do you mean, Child? You may be asking yourself. Especially if you’re feeling paternalistic and Southern. And by “Southern, I mean “not Northern.”

It’ll be just fine, Child. Don’t go worrin’ yur purty head ’bout things ya cain’t understand. That’s what weeze here fur.

Well, I’m taking some time off from my blog. Just a week or so–don’t call the Blog police and report me missing, or anything, okay?

I’m sure this fine WP security squad would be all over my disappearance like bad analogies in a post, but, really, you don’t need to call them. By the time they responded, I’ll be back anyway.

I know this might come as a shock to many  some  a few  three of my loyal followers. You know I’ve been quite a busy blogger in the past several months. Well, busy blogging has taken it’s toll because I’ve also had other things to do. Let’s just call those other things “life.”

In the process of living life outside of blogging, I’ve managed to:

  • complete editing my memoir at great financial cost (almost $2,000) and personal cost (it was a humbling process, but, as a Buddhist and dizzy blonde, I had lots of practice in this area)
  • become semi-educated about the next phases of getting my book self-published, which made me maxi-stressed about these next phases
  • gone through boxes of old family photos for possible inclusion in the book
  • pull my left hamstring, which is very disturbing for a vegetarian–I don’t want to think about ham anything
  • neglect Scrappy, who is getting too used to sleeping all day
  • delay finding my winter wardrobe, opting instead for the “layered look”
  • plan a trip to Portland, OR–a dream trip for me because I’ve always wanted to visit the Northwest

Well, the trip is coming up and I decided not to bring my laptop. I need a break from blogging.

Why, Miss Lorna! I could not have heard you right. You are NOT taking your lap with you on your journey? Whatever will you rest your delicate hands while you await the attention of your handsome gentleman caller? Oh, pardon me. You are leaving your laptop behind. Whatever is a laptop, Miss Lorna? Isn’t your lap your top?

I want to enjoy my time in Portland and the surrounding areas with Philip, blog-guilt-free. Plus, I printed out the edited version of my book and I have to read the whole darned things again to see if it needs any more spit-polishing and to decide where I need to insert charming pictures. I can read it on the plane . Hopefully people around me will be curious about what I’m reading when I laugh out loud constantly and I can tell them, “Oh, it’s the book I’ve just written.”  It’s a marketing tool I just invented.

See? Kind of contagious. And I’ll be sitting in First Class. I hear they give you bibs and roomy seats.

Smack-dab in the middle of next week (Nov. 14) is my 55th birthday. I’m preparing a post for that day in honor of, well, me. How can I let a birthday like that slip by? But, remember, I won’t be checking my blog until several days after. I just don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you, even though I kind of am.

So, yes, something’s got a hold on me, all right…and it’s the exhilaration of a vacation. To illustrate how I feel and what I would be doing if I didn’t have a broken left butt cheek, watch the following video. If you want, shake your booty for me!

I’ll see you in a week or so! Try to stay out of trouble. I won’t!