Well, they said Grandma went to a place where she would find peace. I know she found lots of pieces of good stuff in here. Maybe this is where she went.

Where do you go when you’re “gone?” Like in dead and gone?

Don’t you hate it when kids, especially yours, ask you this question? What do you tell them? I mean, does anyone really know for sure?

Since the original point of Halloween is to honor dead people, I thought it would be appropriate to offer you THE answer to this question so that you’re prepared for the next time the topic comes along. And you know it will because kids, old people and about 50% of the rest of the population seem to be missing that sensor in the brain that signals their mouths to close even though potentially inappropriate thoughts are forming.

So maybe I spent a little too much time talking about why I hate the women I’ve dated before and how you remind me so much of them. Can we start again? I think you’d look great as a blonde.

You may be wondering how do I, a mere but awesome mortal, know for sure where you go when you’re dead. Because I’ve been there.

O yes I have. You wanna look into this face and tell me otherwise? This is the look of conviction, People.  As in “confidence,” not  as in “found guilty.”

Prior to the experience I’m about to describe I was a recovering-Catholic agnostic who feared death because the notion of Hell was burned into my soul, which I wasn’t sure I had but wasn’t sure I didn’t have. Let’s just say I was confused, scared and didn’t deal with death particularly well.

Then I had to undergo emergency surgery to remove a fetus that planted itself in one of my Fallopian tubes. I went right from my doctor’s office to the ER to the OR. It was like a scene from ER, but without George Clooney.

You better haul your booties over to the that blonde whose Lady Parts (medical jargon) are about to kerslpode. Sheesh! You’ll do anything for Sweeps Week.

During my time in the OR, I had an experience. Now, I’ve had lots of surgeries and this is how they usually go:

  • Pre-op preparation and signing your life away
  • Drugs to calm you
  • Count backwards from 100
  • After 97 off to La La Land
  • Wake up in Recovery Room feeling like crap

    Yeah. You just don’t feel like yourself at all. And everything is fuzzy.

This time was different. Very different. I went somewhere. Or the part of me that makes me “me” went somewhere. I remember parts of it very clearly.

  1. I didn’t follow a white light or see people I knew who had “passed.”
  2. There were no forms (bodies) of any sort, but consciousness was everywhere, so I knew I wasn’t alone.
  3. I felt like I was above the earth but not like in the clouds–I was in a different dimension, but connected to earth.
  4. While there, I understood the meaning of everything: past, present, and future. Anything that ever confused me made perfect sense and seemed so simple. I remember thinking, “Why didn’t I understand this while I was alive? It’s so clear, so simple.”
  5. I was peaceful and so very content. Comfortable in a way I’ve never felt before.
  6. All of a sudden, three door appeared and I knew that these represented three major accomplishments I was required to do in my life. Two were wide open, meaning I had already accomplished them. Even though the last one was closed, I knew what it was and, again, I remember thinking how easy that would be to achieve. I wanted to open the door and walk through it but something stopped me.
  7. I was told by another conscious being that I wasn’t ready and had to return to complete the task while in my body. This saddened me. It was so lovely where I was. I didn’t want to leave.
  8. The moment that I had that thought, I was waking up in the recovery room and I felt wretched.

Through the grogginess of the anesthesia, I described all of it to my then-husband. I was afraid I would forget the details. My fears were unwarranted. Well, sort of. I vividly remember what I just told you. I don’t remember what I discovered that made life and it’s mysteries seem so clear. Nor do I remember the three major things I must achieve in this life. It figures, right?

I now have absolutely no fear of death. That disappeared immediately after the experience. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to court death, but I’m not fearful about when my time comes.

Did my soul travel to the place where souls go after they leave the body? I suppose I can’t say it did for sure because all I have is my experience and that’s not scientific evidence, it’s subjective and anecdotal. But it’s enough for me.

What do you think? Ponder it and have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!