Enough with the parties and costumes! They can only amuse us for so long. If we don’t hear from Lorna soon, what will we do for entertainment? Pictionary? Dear Lorna, no!

Because I’m: psychic  narcissistic  brilliant  in tune with my readers, I know how curious you are about my “All in the Family Weekend.” Here’s what I can tell you for sure.

You missed my astute and witty comments on your blog posts. You even missed the snappy way I click your “like” button. Well, I’m back now, so you can stop wearing black, turn that frown upside down, feed the cat (or whatever constitutes your family), and start living again. At least until I go to Portland, Oregon in a couple of weeks…

I’m glad you’re back, Lorna. But how do you suggest I stop wearing black?

My visit with Alex was short but sweet. That’s the way that visits should be with your 26-year-old son when you’re living with a man other than his father. Philip and Alex get along really well now, but there was a time when Alex wasn’t comfortable spending the night at our place. That time was about a few months ago. He’s matured since then. He’s not quite at the point where he understands that I have “needs,” but I think he concedes that his mom is a human being.  While the Broken House will always be “home” for him, he enjoys the modern conveniences of doors that close and ceilings.

This is all the action my mom is ever gonna see. You got it, Mister? Yeah, I’m talking ta you Dad and any other man who wants ta take my place. Don’t be fooled by this smile. I can kick and head butt like a pro wrestler or Real Housewife.

I drove my new Prius to Connecticut. It’s 5 hours one way. The whole trip cost me $19.00 in gas. I love my new car. The trip with my mom was great. We bonded. Mostly it was our butts bonding to our seats, but bonding is bonding.  My sister had a nice meal waiting for us, so we ate and then took their dogs for a walk around their neighborhood. They have a small terrier (Buster Brown) and a young but huge Harlequin Newfoundland (Stella). We spent most of the weekend trying to avoid getting slimed by Stella’s over-productive saliva glands. My mom did more running inside the house than most sprinters do training for a meet. And she’s 79 years old.

Why didn’t we think of this? Mom would have saved a lot of tread on her sneakers.

On the day of the Modern Family cast member show, we took the dogs for a trail walk. As luck would have it, a tree root jumped up and tripped me, catching my left leg and further injuring by torn butt muscle. Did you know I tore my butt during a yoga class a couple of weeks ago? Well, it’s really torn now. I believe I may need my butt in a sling to mend this particular injury. There have been people waiting a long time to see my butt in a sling.

Of all the contraptions I’ve imagined for my bedroom, this is NOT one of them.

The show was great. Jesse (Mitchell) and Eric (Cam) were funny and played off each other as well in real life as they do on Modern Family. You might find the following points interesting:

  • This is the first job either has had that lasted more than a few days.
  • Both of them have been arrested–Jesse for shoplifting porn and jumping a NYC subway turnstile; Eric for fighting with a guy during a sporting even because the man was heckling Eric’s team.
  • Eric is “straight” and has won an Emmy for playing the flamboyant Cam while Jesse is openly gay and hasn’t won any recognition yet for his role.
  • While Cam is the laid back one of the couple on the show, Jesse in the more grounded, unflappable person in real life. Eric said he’s a “cool enough dude…until he’s not.”

    This is why they are called “actors.”

  • Jesse’s background is in the theater. Eric’s experience is all in minor roles in TV dramas–playing killers on cop shows. He told the story of how he got cast as Cam and his friends asked him, “How do you feel about playing a gay guy on TV?” He remarked, “Funny, no one ever asked my how I felt about playing a murderer on TV.”
  • Almost none of what we watch is ad-libbed. But the talented writers take true life stories from the actors and weave them into some plot lines.

    Eric actually did attend clown school.

We got a lot of insight into how difficult the showbiz industry is to break into and to how naturally funny these guys are. We didn’t get photos with them or autographs. Typical.

*****

Whenever my family gets together, no matter what we are doing, something makes us laugh. This weekend did not disappoint. And I’m not talking about the show.

But this post is long enough. Next time, I’ll share what happened that brought all of us to tears of laughter…