I take that back. I could be Mariah Carey. I look great in red and can look equally surprised given the right circumstances, like, say, being asked to judge an awesome competition.

For those of you still drowning your sorrows because you have to wait another few months until next season’s American Idol, The Voice, America’s Got Talent, or Dancing With the Stars begins eliminating losers and the NBC coverage of the Summer Olympics isn’t doing it for you because you don’t get to vote for who the winner of the Men’s 400 meter freestyle lap dance swimming competition will be, have I got news for you!

Dark Globe is hosting another totally awesome PHOTOGRAPHY competition that you can enter and I can vote on.  Hey, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too.  Trust me, I’ve tried.  All you get are crumbs, frustration, scolding from your Weight Watcher’s Captain, and high-fives from your Weight Watcher’s cake-loving fleshy cronies.

This woman looks like she’s got the system beat. She has the cake in one hand and she’s eating it from the other. Is she a genius or is she just getting started on one heck of a cake-fest?  On this one, I’ll let YOU be the judge.

CLICK HERE for Dark Globe’s “Tell Us A Story” Photography Contest announcement and all the rules.

For reasons known only to Dark Jade and me (well, known only to Dark Jade), I am one of the judges of this contest.  Everyone knows that the totally awesome and side-splittingly funny pictures I include in my blog posts are pinched from Google Images.  I can’t even be bothered to Photoshop my own lousy pictures.  My talents lie elsewhere, like in finding zany pictures to steal, writing quirky memoirs (almost done, folks), and deluding myself into thinking I can judge a good set of photos when I see them.  I know enough to play to my strengths.

Exhibit A. Totally ripped from Google Images and hilarious. So what if it has nothing to do with a post announcing a photography contest? It’s a photograph, right? Sheesh. Let me have a little fun. It’s been a really long time since I’ve done a post like this.

If you are any good at the old shutterbuggery, play to your strengths and enter this contest.  You never know when a judge who knows nothing about taking pictures, but knows what she likes when she sees it will pick you as the next Photographer Extraordinaire!  As for the other judges, well, you have to know it’s a crap shoot.  I’m just being honest, which is another thing I’m really good at.

The contest starts today and ends August 15, so you photographically-inclined procrastinators don’t put off for tomorrow what you should think about doing today.

Yeah. Try not to do that, okay?