My Two New Favorite Letters

“I couldn’t pick just one letter. You know, Baby, had to pick two. Now you got me so excited. I’m doing my rocker split for you. Oh, yeah. Baby. Baby. Sing it with me, Baby, Baby…”


My new most favorite letters of the alphabet are “V” and “N.” Why?

Maybe you’ll understand if I switch them around: “N” and “V” or “NV.” If you think I’m talking about moving to Nevada and trying out my new pole dancing routine on the Las Vegas Strip, you’re wrong; although the exercise would be great and I’m not loving the humidity that comes with summers up here in the Northeast.

I never thought my yoga classes would help me become so flexible. And the “plank” really helps with the upper arm strength needed to wrestle myself into these tight shoes and that slinky outfit.

No, sound out the letters, people: NV…envy. Are you starting to get the picture? If you’re thinking that I’ve had a spiritual meltdown, abandoned Buddhism, and now practice jealousy with a vengeance, you’re wrong again; although if I find out that some publisher just discovered a quirky blonde blogger who is writing a memoir (and it’s not about me) and is in negotiations for a multiple book and movie deal starring Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney, I’m going to jealous with a capital Jello.

This is the part in my book when Phil tells me he can’t live without me. Spoiler Alert: that happens a lot in my book.

Alright already. The reason “envy” is such a big deal in my life right now is that I won the Envy Round of Katy’s Seven Deadly Sins Contest with my story, Behind the Mask.

I want to thank:

  1. Katy for running the contest even though her health has been uncooperative–something I know a little something about. She also deserves recognition for making a generous donation to the charity of the winner’s choice (in honor of the winner). I really wanted her to make a donation to Bloggers Anonymous, but we all seem to want notoriety not anonymity, so the self-help program we so clearly need fizzled out like soggy fireworks. I chose a charity that works to protect animals.
  2. Katy’s compadre, Lenore, also made a generous contribution to one of three charities she likes to support (in honor of the winner). I chose One Simple Wish.
  3. All the judges who deemed my story worthy of making it to the finalists’ round. Every essay had something very special to offer. I was honored to be among such creative, effective writers.
  4. All the people who voted for me or the few people who voted for me over and over again. I vow not to ask for your votes again should my future “sinful essays” make it to the final round. I believe in sharing the love and, trust me, I feel a lot of love right now and want others to feel the same way!

Katy has already announced that the next sin is sloth, but I’m finding it hard to snap to it and rush to write my essay on that one. I wonder how many others are feeling the same way?

It’s not too late to join in on the fun. Just go to Katy’s blog and submit a 600 word (or less) essay about the sin-du-jour. You have until JUNE 28, midnight to submit your entry on s…l….o…t…h.

What? You’re writing a story about me? I’m flattered, but don’t expect me to rush down from this branch to read it. I spent the last two weeks getting from the base of this branch all the way down to this bend. I’ve got some serious snoozing to do before I start my way back over to the left. Or would that be the right. It’s hard to tell when you’re upside down.

~ by Lorna's Voice on June 15, 2012.

21 Responses to “My Two New Favorite Letters”

  1. Wicked good or wicked bad? Or is there a difference? 😉 No matter. Thanks for stopping by, Androgoth! My laptop is on fire as a write this memoir. It’s great to get this book outside of my head.

  2. How wicked 🙂 🙂
    I hope that you have
    a wonderful start to
    your week Lorna 🙂

    Androgoth XXx

  3. Gee, Al, these are cookies made if you’ve got tartar issues–they are really hard. Still interested?

  4. ~~~~ : – O

  5. Sounds good. I’m also interested in the peanut butter dog biscuits…..for myself. (I love anything with peanut butter in it)

  6. As it happens, I’m looking for an agent who knows me and appreciates my quirky approach to life. I think we might be able to work something out. I make some delicious peanut butter dog biscuits. You might not appreciate them, but Gracie would. Think we can work out a deal?

  7. Yeah! You go Girlfriend! 🙂

  8. Thanks, Izzy. You’re turn next! 🙂

  9. Super Congratulations!!!!! A well deserved win.

  10. I didn’t think about writing in this until you mentioned it and then a little idea popped into my head. I might just try to be brave enough to give this a go – thanks for the nudge 😉

  11. Just wondering…do you have an agent yet? I’m available.

  12. Too funny! I was wondering how I would let my “peeps” know I won this round of the contest and that idea just popped into my head. I knew it would get some people thinking along some interesting lines. Thanks for sharing your “mind map.” 🙂

  13. Thanks, Jacqueline! You should get in on the fun. Sloth–how fun is that going to be to write about?! 😉

  14. Thanks! I’m living my own version of a romance movie, so having my memoir published is really good enough for me. The rest is just crazy talk on my part!

  15. Congratulations! Here’s a map of my thoughts when I saw VN:

    vocational nurse. nurse v– uhh. ENVY. Nevada. Porno ad cards on the floor. Gambling. And it went downhill from there haha 🙂


  16. Oh congratulations and thanks for letting us know – well deserved.

  17. Congratulations!! It’s great you’ve won this award and don’t worry, your Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney movie will surely come to production really soon. 😉

  18. I’m listening to the Universe…finally! Thanks Diana! 🙂

  19. Congratulations! This is the Universe’s way of telling you, ‘Don’t stop writing!’

  20. Are there any other kind? 😉 Thanks, Simone!

  21. Oh you naughty naughty sinner you. Congratulations, Lorna!

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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