Hiya! I know I shouldn’t come out right now. I’ve still got a lot to do in here, but I think you’ll agree this is going to be worth it. I’ll wrap myself back up in just a minute…

Hi there. Remember me? I remember you…and miss you, too.

But this post isn’t about how lonely I am or how productive I’ve been on my memoir (I’m writing a chapter a day, so I’ll need to stop in a couple more weeks because I’m not as old and interesting as Margaret Thatcher or Betty White so I’m running out of life to write about).

Yeah. No. I don’t have any stories like this in my book.

The reason for this post is that my old, trusty dizzylorna@hotmail.com account has attracted the attention of some persistent and innovative entrepreneurs wanting everyone on my contact list to:

  • Send me money because apparently I’ve been traveling and lost my wallet;
  • Buy into a pyramid scheme because square and circle schemes never seem to pan out;
  • Purchase some sexual enhancement or other mind/life altering pharmaceuticals because, let’s face it, you are inadequate and so is your pathetic life.

If you could see me now, I have that same “I know I did something wrong, but it wasn’t all that bad, so look past the past and embrace the sincere promise that I’ll try to do better when you trust me again, and you will trust me again because look at me–I’m freaking irresistible.” But unlike this smarmy politician, I really mean it.

Like John Edwards, I take full responsibility for my sins–whatever they were–and still believe that God (or someone with more pull in the destiny department than I do) has a plan for me, so I will cling with a death grip…don’t want to give up on public (cyber) life. I still want real, non-hacker-like people to contact me should they have a burning desire to do so. To that end, I created a new email account and have listed here at WordPress. It’s lornasvoice@hotmail.com. I’m nothing if I’m not consistent.

Okay, so maybe not every hacker works on his knees and with that magic super-powered face mask. I just want you to keep your evil hacker powers away from my currently virginal new email account. In case I was unclear. No means no, Super Hacker Man. Lorna’s Voice has spoken.

I realize that I risk the possibility that notifications of new posts from all the blogs I still subscribe to will not find my new address. That would suck…be disappointing. WordPress only likes change when they originate it. I was married to a guy like that, once, so I know how that is. But, in the interest of protecting you, my peeps, I deleted you from the old account.

Maybe you were lucky and didn’t receive a SPAM from me. Or maybe you did and just deleted it like all the other crap that fills up your inbox. But if you have received strange emails from me (and by “strange” I mean ones that don’t have that signature zany Lorna’s voice to them), I hope you appreciate this effort and that you send me an email at the new address so I can add you to my contact list there. Please don’t make the assumption I know how to import contact lists. I’m 54.

If this doesn’t work. I may need your mailing address. I have great penmanship and who doesn’t like to receive a note in the mail every now and then? Plus I hear the U.S. Postal Service could use the business.

Don’t worry, Honey. If these hackers keep after me, I’ll send enough mail to keep the post office open until at least 2050. By then nurses will have to pry the pen from my arthritic fingers. I hope I have enough friends within shouting distance at the nursing home.

I hope you are all well. I’m doing great and now I have to get back to that book. Chapter 11 is itching to be written.