
It's hard to concentrate on proper grammar when your only relief could slice your fingers off, or worse--mess up your hair before your husband comes home.
Did I say “fanners” in the title of this post? Silly me. I meant spammers.
So far, spammers have escaped my vegetable-peeler-sharp wit, but it’s time for this vegetarian to pop the lid open on her can of SPAM.
I have 3 complaints about my blog spammers:
- It’s clear they don’t read my meticulous and well-written posts. Look at the post titles; you’ll see what I mean.
- They can be snarky. If they have friends and family, why pick on a complete cyber-stranger?
- I have a hard time understanding what they are trying to tell me. I’m confused enough already and don’t need unsolicited intellectual pandemonium.
Spammer, you should read the post before you send your spam-a-zoid message.
Hoping for further knowledge in that field! (Can We Go Back? I Forgot a Few Things) I could teach you a great deal about forgetting things, but I tend to have memory lapses when putting my notes together…
There is this guy in Nigeria who is looking for a business partner. I’ll forward you his e-mail. (Freaking Psychopath) Um. No thanks. Really. I’m good. I work best alone.
I wanted to visit and allow you to know how , very much I loved discovering your web site today. I’d personally consider it a great honor to operate at my workplace and be able to use the tips discussed on your site and also engage in visitors’ responses like this. Should a position regarding guest writer become available at your end, please let me know. (Meet the Wack-a-Doodles) The job market is tough, but no need to work for a Wack-a-Doodle. I hear there’s a guy in Nigeria looking for a business partner.
I believe that avoiding processed foods will be the first step to be able to lose weight. They could taste excellent, but ready-made foods include very little vitamins and minerals, making you eat more simply to have enough power to get throughout the day. Should you be constantly having these foods, transferring to cereals and other complex carbohydrates will assist you to have more vigor while taking in less. Great blog post. (Most Leaveable Girl in High School) Oh, I get it. You saw the title of the post and thought I got dumped because I was weight-challenged and had food issues. That’s Plumpness Profiling! I’m hurt.
I am not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for great info I was looking for this About Lorna Lorna’s Voice for my mission. (About Lorna Page) Hey, Einstein. I’m getting this information about myself from myself. Even Wikipedia would accept me as a reputable source for my own bio.
Why must you be a snarky spammer?
obviously like your website however you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to inform the reality however I’ll certainly come again again. I didn’t note which post this was in response to, but does it matter? I know I make mistakes. You did, too. Do you see me getting all in your face about it?
I have not checked in here for a while since I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend Talk about passive-aggressive… Gee, I thought I’d delete you from my Spam folder since you insulted me, but I guess that compliment just felt too good, my friend.
go figure (Award announcement post) How many awards have you received lately, Buddy?
What?
I individually didn’t find out about this, with thanks. I didn’t collectively write this. You’re not welcome.
I got what you destine, thanks for swing up. Woh I am willing to chance this website through google./I got what you impart, thanks for putting up. Woh I am happy to gestate this website through google./I got what you think, thanks for putting up. Woh I am willing to attain this website finished google. Thanks For Share And So It Begins…Or Ends Lorna’s Voice. I think someone needs to put down the Mad Libs game and do some real work.
From a Pharmacy Site: Hello! fbeegae interesting fbeegae site! I’m really like it! Very, very fbeegae good! (Um Donkeys May be Flying) I’d cut the fbeegae down on experimenting with the fbeegaeing drug samples. You’re too fbeegaed-up to work. It’s fbeegaeing hard to get off the drugs, but think of your family, you fbeegaeing dope.
So you spammers out there, take heed. I’m not your average target. I have standards and I’m almost always alert. You probably can’t be stopped, but neither can I. Next time, I might just have to name names…
May 15, 2012 @ 17:48:37
Will wonders never cease!
May 15, 2012 @ 17:07:53
I looked up flebeeged on google and guest what came up, your blogged. I had a good laugh.
Mar 04, 2012 @ 12:12:38
Thanks so much! I wish I was as sassy and impish in real life… 😉
Mar 02, 2012 @ 00:09:33
I never read spams. I forgot they existed. I doubt mine are nearly as funny, however. Your take on these is outrageously funny! Lord, I loved reading this one! I understand perfectly why you received so many awards!
Your responses to the replies are equally funny.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:10:35
I think the messages are written by robots… 😉
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:09:43
Glad you enjoyed how I poked fun at something you already know is a fun thing to poke fun at. I copied and pasted the ones I thought were funniest over the last several months, so I wouldn’t lose them when they got auto-deleted.
Thanks for stopping in and commenting! 🙂 I’ll check out your link…
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:06:40
I think the messages must be computer-generated and there’s something wrong with the software… Please don’t tell me real people write and send these messages!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:04:57
Glad you enjoyed this post. I don’t know what gets into me sometimes… 😉
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:03:58
Yes, I had an X-rated one, too. My blog is G rated. Maybe they were thinking “g-string?” 😐
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:02:41
Hey, at least your spammers are reading your blog and directing semi-relevant nonsense messages to you! 🙂
Mar 01, 2012 @ 10:01:28
Hope you find some good stuff. If you do and aren’t ready to do a post, copy and paste the messages into a Word document. WordPress auto deletes the older spam every so often.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:55:40
I agree. WordPress does a great job at filtering out spam and getting rid of it for you.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:54:54
Ah, but will they listen? I think not…
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:54:23
I let WordPress delete them. But it’s worth a look-see every now and again. There’s so pretty funny stuff every once in a while…
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:53:23
If I do this again, I might just turn States Evidence on some of these spammers. Some seem like rogue operators, but others are from major companies even I recognize.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:46:44
OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH….sign me UP!!!!!!!
Whenever you’re ready, I’ll get you my email.
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:44:40
Al, I didn’t know you spammed on the side (or is that your main dish?) 😉
Mar 01, 2012 @ 09:43:31
You’re way too kind. And yes, you can have my autograph…if I could just figure out how to send it. Maybe a signed copy of my memoir?
Mar 01, 2012 @ 00:14:04
I can’t stand it…What did I do before I found your blog????? You are just too funny for words. Can I have your autograph?
Feb 29, 2012 @ 13:11:04
Your post is getting to the rest of your writing. Since I will read many times your story I like to you a very good compliment. Please make an acceptance of my wishes that you can write about more.
Of all the writing person that is reading, you can be among my greatest to enjoy.
Feb 29, 2012 @ 09:29:15
Yeah, I couldn’t figure that out in the beginning, why these weird comments from sites that made no sense. But I’m a quick study. I don’t read them though, just delete. My favorite key. I think you should name names.
Feb 29, 2012 @ 05:19:03
I got a spam comment the other day – twice – that was the best part of about 4 pages long – all rubbish of course. Where do they find the time. Delete is the name of the game 😉 Great post.
Feb 29, 2012 @ 01:11:57
Well, I too (spelled correctly) am flebeeged (sp?) about some of your spammer’s comments. Think you told them!!
Feb 29, 2012 @ 00:55:33
I get a lot of spams like this. I’m always deleting them as quickly as possible.
Great spam watch here at wordpress….
Feb 28, 2012 @ 22:45:34
I didn’t know what I was missing. I never look at my spam. The minute I post this comment, I’m gonna go look.
Feb 28, 2012 @ 22:09:53
Mine’s different than yours too. It’s mostly fashion directed like stores where I can buy bib overalls or long wikipedia articles to prove the point that Oklahoma is a way worse place to live than Kansas. Sure. Whatever.
Feb 28, 2012 @ 21:38:40
Very strange…spam is inexplicable…but sometimes does offer a chuckle. Lately, I’ve been getting some from porno sites…how did they find their way to my PG rated blog???
Feb 28, 2012 @ 20:54:54
Oh my gosh, I just laughed myself into a state of hysteria.I’m even crying now. Great, great job!
Feb 28, 2012 @ 20:51:53
So funny – I get those goofy spammers too and I have to laugh outloud at some of the ridiculousness! Great post!
Feb 28, 2012 @ 18:34:34
Its very important me telling you this: I find the postings on this web-page to be quite appreciative, as well as the topics are also very insightful. It is clear to me that underpants often are pine-tree fresheners. Digress, I do. I must honestingly state, I yearn for that I could like you write. My webpage is also a visitable one: http://insert-absurdly-long.and/spammy/looking/link.here
… Syke, I’m a real person.
I get spam like this all the time, although Askimet is usually quite good at stopping it. A while back, I thought about making a post about it too, since they’re usually quite hilarious, but was too lazy to figure out how I’d format it in a funny way – I never woulda thought about using Newman like that, I literally lolled at that. Thanks for the laughs. 🙂
Feb 28, 2012 @ 17:52:39
Your spams are more interesting than mine. I usually get loads of links about viagra … I do get the occasional snarky spammer and I just heave ho them to the Trash. I often wonder what language the original Spam was written. It’s clear they use some kind of online translator …