Memories Are A Hard Thing To Forget, Just Ask Scrappy

If I look tired, it's because I am. I have this recurring nightmare. A giant cat is chasing me. I try to fight it, but it has claws of steel and jaws that ooze poison. I always wake up in need of a Milkbone. I can't forget that day...that horrible day...

It was early in August that Scrappy was attacked by Kamikaze Kat. Being the fearless terrier-terrier-terrier-something that my eleven-year-old “pound-dog” rescue mutt mixed-breed designer canine is, I figured he would quickly rebound from the trauma and be his normal “Happy Scrappy” self. After calling The National Guard State Police Local Police and Condo Association, Kamikaze Kat’s owner must have gotten the message, because that big, bad beast is now invisible. If he’s terrorizing anything, it’s his owner’s home.

What could possibly happen to this fine hand-woven tablecloth or vintage scratch-post, er, violin?

Like all victims of cat-violence, the scars on the inside take longer to heal than the disfigured shreds of flesh on the outside. Scrappy, I’m sad to report, is among the legions of FIPTSD sufferers (Feline-Induced Post-Tramautic Stress Discombobulation). He has one major symptom: he lunges at any inanimate garden or porch ornament that is cat-sized and might launch an unprovoked attack (if, all of a sudden, it became animate).

I thought his loony behavior would go away if:

  1. I let him attack each inanimate object and he “won.” We are no longer welcome in many of our neighbors yards.
  2. I explained to him the “in” part of inanimate. He listened carefully then burped in my face.
  3. I approached the Condo Association asking for a ban on all cat-shaped or cat-sized or animalish-looking garden/porch ornaments, arguing that they just provoke highly sensitive pet companions. I didn’t really want to serve on any of their stupid committees anyway.

Nothing has worked so far. Scrappy seems permanently cursed with memories of Kamikaze Kat (a.k.a. Grumpy) setting his blood-thirsty sights on him, hissing, fitting, flying at him, and finally delivering the stinging swipe on his nose. My “Happy Scrappy” is now the neighborhood vigilante. No garden or porch decoration that resembles a cat is safe.

This red light means there's a potential threat in the vicinity. Hold on Mommy, I'm about to zig, so don't you be zagging!

Here are some of the suspicious characters on Scrappy’s “Watch List”:

I'll wipe that mouse-eating grin off your face.

Don't think that tippy bird bath or those lame masks are hiding you. And if you think cats in costume are going to fool a smart dog like me, you have another think coming.

You think those flimsy wicker chairs are going to protect you? Ha! Your smug little mug won't look so calm when I'm done with you!

Mr., you're just asking for a Scrappy-sized helping of whoop-your-stringy-butt!

Hey you...I'm gonna...oh...Mommy! It's just the head and look at those eyes. They follow you. It scares me. Make it go away.

I always give Scrappy a nice treat after our neighborhood surveillance walk. He seems to revert back to the courageous, self-assured, care-free guy I knew before that early August day. He even shows me his skills at rounding up threats inside our compound condo…

See, Mommy? These critters are under my total control. Blog away, knowing I've got your back...and mine.

~ by Lorna's Voice on September 22, 2011.

30 Responses to “Memories Are A Hard Thing To Forget, Just Ask Scrappy”

  1. I’m glad!

  2. LOL loved it!!!!

  3. Hi George, thanks so stopping by reading and commenting. Hope to see you again!

  4. Aw, thanks (That’s Scrappy talking, and me, too). He has a pretty wide-reaching fan club. Everyone thinks he’s the cutest dog–even other dog owners say that in the presence of their dogs!

    I’m sure he’ll get over his Kat-Krazies. If not, I just have to keep my guard up so I don’t get knocked off my keester when he suddenly lunges at a garden gnome! He’s worth it. 😉

  5. Scrappy should have a fan club. I’d join. He is so cute and adorable. Trauma like this might need therapy. The dog whisperer is expensive but Scrappy needs him. Perhaps, a cat / dog intervention. I know … cats can be difficult … but Scrappy can blink those adorable eyes and send a love message.
    Hugs to Scrappy …
    Izzy xoxo

  6. Fun all the way. Did you know a Danish veterinarian had done many C sections on pigs and when his wife required it he performed the first one in which the mother survived. Julius was also one but think about his poor mother. Ouch. George W.

  7. You’ll have to rig something so he keeps them on when he’s plowing under all those evergreen trees and shrubs…

  8. Oh, he is quite the character and has brought me so much joy. I rescued him and he was a pretty tough little nut when I first got him. Lots of love and patience transformed him into the little teddy-bear he is today.

  9. Funny I was thinking about writing about the Dog Whisperer today, as I was in tears watching him cure doggy fears. Cesar Millan’s kinda my hero. Scrappy looks like quite a character, bet he brings you all sorts of smiles!

  10. Very funny, you had me laughing out loud. Maybe he needs glasses so he can detect the real thing.

  11. Two months and he’s still all nerved up about that crazy cat. Amazing. I never met a dog who held a grudge. Of course I never met a dog as cute as Scrappy, either. 😉

  12. Thankfully, Scrappy is always on a leash, so all critters (animate and inanimate) are safe from his vendetta against Kamikaze Kat…

  13. Wait until he get a hold of one you YOUR garden ornaments… 😉

  14. Yes, it really surprised me when he lunged at these objects–and continues to do so. Animals are more like humans than we think… And he is tops in the “Adorable Department” isn’t he? 😉

  15. I’ve tried that. He’ll listen politely then burp in your face. But he’ll kiss you afterward for your efforts, so it’s all worth it!

  16. Phil, you don’t know the half of it! 😉

  17. Scrappy was my closest companion during some of my loneliest times–and I mean that in the most innocent of ways… He’s my little guy and I love him. A lot of other people love him, too.

  18. He’s a hands-down cutie-pie alright. And to think someone abandoned him…I’m just glad I was the one who rescued him!

    Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting. Hope to see you again soon!

  19. I was thinking about all those “cat people” out there and how they might get offended by my obvious dog-bias. I was hoping that those adorable pics of Scrappy would soften any ill-will against me, 😉

  20. Yeah, he’s my little stuffed animal that isn’t inanimate! There’s never going to be another guy like him…

  21. Scrappy is very endearing

  22. I’d just like to say that most cats, like my Beeby, would never be so rude as to attack an innocent dog. Well, maybe sometimes. Probably often. But only because they absolutely HATE dogs and I’m sure they have their reasons.

    Hope Scrappy’s trauma fades soon.

  23. wow! All the scrappy look so cute. Thanks for sharing such a cute pictures of scrappy. I really like these pictures.

  24. I LOVE Scrappy! There is something wrong with the world, or at least a lot of the men in it, when Scrappy starts to look like quite an attracive option as a life/house mate, LOL Scrappy has a funny mama. Love her, too!

  25. He may be small, but he’s… Scrappy!

  26. He’s so cute – I just want to give him a hug and tell him it will all be ok : )!

  27. Poor little darling–he’s really suffering. Scrappy is adorable.

  28. ” Here comes the dog, the big brave dog” Milo and Otis comes to mind. Keep fighting scrap-a-lisious!

  29. Sweetstuff Scrappy. That cat, in fact any cat, is in serious schtuck if Scrappy sees em first, cheers catchul8r molly

  30. Poor Scrappy!

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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