…and I was born.

Could you turn the flash off on the camera? Are you trying to blind your love child?

I’m an odd child, but I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault.

My father is away a lot “on business. ” He always left at night.

Yes, my Dear, I have another "business" trip. I told you when we met that I did a great deal of "traveling."

When he’s around, he’s always so serious and seriously thirsty. I think I got my drinking problem from him.

He's so intense; he needs those Bloody Marys to chillax.

My mother is easy-going and funny when Pops is away, but she gets cranky when he flies back into town. Her collection of scarves and weapons is impressive. I think she was forced into this relationship.

Get away from me with those smooth-talkin' fangs of yours. There's silver bullets in this gun. What? Those only work on werewolves. Darn. Okay, come over here and let's get this over with. Oh, and remind me to add garlic to my grocery list.

I love the lime light (like my mom), but abhor the daylight (like Pops).

Clouds make me smile and skip merrily. Bright sunshine hurts my eyes and burns my skin.

How am I supposed to do anything productive when I'm blinded by the sunlight? I'm smiling because I just heard that some clouds are rolling in.

Too many days of sunshine make me edgy, causing me to whimper.

I’m overly suspicious of my shadow, which follows me and won’t stop mocking me.

I'm telling you, it's unnerving.

I want to be an actress or comedienne when I grow up, but I only want to perform inside. At night. In cool places.

Perfect! I'm really good at pretending. And I don't mind if YOU get hot as long I as I stay cool.

I love night-time.

Could you make my blanket a little tighter? I can still feel my fingers and toes. And a face mask would be nice.

********

Seasonal Affect Disorder effects between 60%-80% of Americans. Often referred to as “The Winter Blues,” people with SAD, feel depressed when there’s not enough sunshine. About 60% have pretty serious cases where they eat whole bags of Lays potato chips and fly into hissy-fits about re-runs of TV shows they don’t even like. The other 10-20% have more mild cases–they only eat half the bag of chips and watch re-runs like zombies.

This hissy-fit started after he discovered the 2nd bag of potato chips went directly to his hips, rendering his gold spandex pants too tight for a comfortable evening of watching re-runs of Jersey Shore.

A lot of research and concern is devoted to these SAD folks who need the sun to feel human. But there’s a tiny percentage of the population who have Reverse SAD, or DAS: Disturbed About Sunshine. Oh, there’s a nod and a wink in the research community to the “Summertime Blues,” as SAD scientists chug a few beers after a long day of research and head for the beach, laughing their lab coats off. Try to Google “summertime blues.” Links to songs and tips on how to cope with miserable kids facing going back to school come up.

Not the kind of "summertime blues" I'm experiencing when the sun shines for weeks on end.

Very few people understand my plight or take me seriously. But a plight it is and, oh, it’s serious. Am I a vampire’s love child? I don’t believe so. Am I weird? Well, if being the one person who is standing in the shade with sunglasses and a parasol while everyone is baking out in the sun makes me weird, then yes, I’m weird. But I think my skin thanks me. I know my HSP brain does.

Me at almost 54.

I feel badly for the SAD victims of the world. I just hope that you’ll give me and the 12 other DAS sufferers a little compassion when you’re whooping it up on all those torturous beautiful sunny days.