
Okay, I didn't wear glasses and wouldn't be caught dead with a dead animal around my neck. Otherwise, she's a dead ringer for me looking-for-love. Are there too many "deads" in this caption?
Lorna is an independent working girl (not that kind) with a Master’s degree who is totally dependent on alcohol and other people’s approval. She’s 25 and looking for lasting love.
While working for the College as a Research Consultant, I met a young man who was a working in the office that provided me clerical support. “C” was friendly and helpful. On the surface, he was not my type: skinny and intellectual. But “C” was interested in me–my #1 quality in a potential boyfriend. He was also a dog-lover. Our first conversation was about his beloved German Shepard that had just died. I spoke of my darling (still alive) Old English Sheepdog, Humphrey. How could I not like a guy who loved dogs and was interested in me? Thus began my first friendship with a male other than my step-grandfather.

Seems we have a theme here... Tall, slim, intellectual, doesn't seem to be her "type." He isn't her step-grandfather, is he?
Our 1st date was a hockey game. I was the third person he asked–two other male friends were busy. If this was an omen, my vision was blurred by my excitement about seeing a semi-pro hockey game. (Hockey was the only sport I understood, besides bowling and drunken-flirting.) The game was 100 miles away. He said we would have a picnic on the way. I packed a lettuce sandwich, can a Fresca, and a bag of popcorn. He brought a wicker picnic basket filled with a smorgsaborg of soft drinks, meats, breads, salads, and desserts to share. I tucked my paper bag of solo provisions under the seat.

"C's" car was an old Toyota Corolla and we were traveling at night, so I wouldn't have needed sun glasses. Plus, "C" never smoked a pipe, but my step-grandfather did. Hmmmm.
I pre-drank enough vodka to loosen me up for any awkward 1st date banter. Silly me. He talked the whole time about the brilliance of Reaganomics. Shutting up Listening takes very few skills. Remembering was a bit more challenging.
Here’s what I remember:
- He was a talkative conservative Business/Economics major who knew everything.
- He wasn’t interested in what I knew.
- His family was well-enough-to-do Methodist, earning their upper rung on the social ladder through hard work.
- He didn’t ask me about my background. I guess my foreground was sufficiently interesting.
- He was a Free Mason, which, from what I could tell, was a secretive misogynistic cult masquerading as a community-minded organization. I could’ve been wrong, but asking questions wasn’t allowed.
- I worked with his mother at the college, so I finally learned his last name.
- He thought I was odd (not adventuresome) going 100 miles away with a guy whose last name I didn’t know.
- He was generous (picnic provisions).
- He knew ziltch about hockey.
- He couldn’t tell I was loopy with “the drink.”
- He wouldn’t share my popcorn–too salty for his hypertension.
- He kissed me on the cheek at the end of the date and didn’t try getting to 2nd, 3rd, or home base. Maybe he was unfamiliar with baseball, too.
Was he a skinny, intellectual, talkative, type “A” gentleman or just a guy who liked dogs and noticed me, a type “B” gal: blonde, blue-eyed, buxom, booze-crazy, and brainy? I went up to my apartment, glugged some vodka, and took Humphrey for a night-time walk wondering why this was the only man (except for my step-grandfather) who didn’t try to have sex with me.

I'm befuddled. Is economics sexier than I am? And where the heck is Humphrey? I could use a drink to clear my head.
Would Lorna ever see “C” again? Did she want to see “C” again? Isn’t saying see “C” fun?
Feb 09, 2012 @ 05:46:36
Sep 12, 2011 @ 07:15:10
I can see you’re catching up. Great!
When I found out he was a Free Mason, I got freaked out and had LOTS of questions. Of course he couldn’t answer most of them (or answer them and kill me!). It was nearly a deal-breaker for me, but, then again, I wasn’t the deal-breaker type. If I found out they slaughtered innocent animals, that would have done it for me, but to my knowledge, they don’t…or do they? 😉
Sep 12, 2011 @ 05:43:26
Hey! I’m just starting to catch up on some of your older posts. I can’t wait to go read parts 2 and 3. A Free Mason, hmmm, that’s scary. My Mom knows about as much about them as you can if you’re not ‘in’ the group and she’s always warning about them. It’s kind of freaky what a group performing good acts actually does behind closed doors…..
Aug 24, 2011 @ 15:09:33
That is the whole point! I’m glad to know my story-telling abilities are effective. You’ll get to read lots more–I promise.
Aug 24, 2011 @ 10:56:08
Great story on your first date. The suspense is building and you are leaving me with a want to hear more.
Aug 21, 2011 @ 23:17:56
Well, I caught your “oops” so know now that you married “C”. I will wait patiently for subsequent writings which may explain your increased attraction to him enough so that you would marry him!
I love the photos and captions too! It’s sort of like you’re a stand-up comic only with a Power Point presentation!
I’m always completely engaged with your stories, Lorna.
Aug 20, 2011 @ 10:16:17
The lens I’m seeing this through is a bit biased given the events of recent years. In other words, “ya think?”
Aug 19, 2011 @ 19:30:14
Hmm . . . I think I see why the divorce . . .
Aug 18, 2011 @ 11:00:19
Yes, quite insightful of you. I’ve told this story so many times, but not from the lens of the woman “C” divorced. I kinow that colors my perception of the story form beginning to end, but, hey, it’s my story and I wish I had the foresight to see what you saw and now I see in hindsight.
He had (has) fine qualities. All of us do. It’s just more fun focusing on the not-so-fine ones. But to be fair and kind (qualities I like to think I possess), I will sprinkle my stories of “C” with the good memories as well.
Aug 18, 2011 @ 10:13:50
Lorna, sounds like this guy had some real issues to start with, after all worrying about hypertension at that age. The other problem is that he wanted to talk about himself and nothing else. Sounds to me like he is self centered. And by the way I too like the pictures.
Ray
Aug 18, 2011 @ 07:28:31
Perhaps it could be if it weren’t a monolog or a lecture. I’d never taken an Economics class until that evening. As 1st dates go, this wasn’t one of the most romantic, but it was memorable.
Aug 18, 2011 @ 07:22:00
It’s hard to write about the beginning of a relationship I know ended in divorce…(oops, probably broke some suspence). How would different this part of the story read if all was well some 30 years after we met? Oh well, we all write with our own biases.
Aug 17, 2011 @ 23:44:14
As always … Good and Humorous.
Toodles, Isadora
Aug 17, 2011 @ 22:12:16
Ah, Economics! The language of love! Or maybe not…
Aug 17, 2011 @ 20:56:19
That’s the objective. These stories are all new, but others from my younger days were ones I’d written a while ago with a memoir in mind. I didn’t know if they were any good or if anyone would be interested in reading about my life.
I’m finding that my life is just zany enough (or my twist when writing about it) to capture the interest of a least a few readers. So there’s hope…
Thanks for the encouragement, Molly!
Aug 17, 2011 @ 20:52:55
Thanks! Finding just the right pictures and captioning them is something new that blogging has brought to me. I love it! I’m glad you do, too.
Aug 17, 2011 @ 20:17:46
This is a riot, Lorna. I love what you do with captions on the photos. You definitely have a knack for humor.
Aug 17, 2011 @ 19:37:00
These are beaut vignettes from life in the fast lane – could go a long ways t’wards an autobiography – has all the optimum ingredients – cheers catchul8r molly
Aug 17, 2011 @ 19:24:15
I fully admit my love life was zany. I’m just glad my mom doesn’t have a computer so she will never read these blogs. If I ever get a memoir published, though, she’s going to want to read it. I’ll have to give her the “G” rated version!
Aug 17, 2011 @ 19:22:04
The only time I got to talk was during the hockey game. I explained what was happening. When I offered him the popcorn, he turned it down saying he had to watch his salt intake because of high blood pressure. He was in his early 20s. And he ate the luncheon meats and prepared potato salad and cole slaw–so I just wonder if he thought my popcorn was sub-standard…
Aug 17, 2011 @ 19:18:48
“C” got the tickets from an economics professor who loved hockey but was busy that night. “C” was a favorite student of his. He couldn’t turn them down. So I guess he asked a couple of his buddies first, neither of whom could go. I was 3rd on his list.
You can call him Chuck. Actually I might start calling him Chuck…
Aug 17, 2011 @ 18:37:25
Yeah, it’s fun saying see “C”. I’ll bet his name was Chuck. Sounds like a Chuck to me. Where did “C” get the tickets if he didn’t know anything about hockey. Just trying to fit in? I love the photo captions. Can’t wait for the next installment.
Aug 17, 2011 @ 17:29:30
Love this – I could picture him, and you, and even the popcorn : )!
Aug 17, 2011 @ 16:36:33
I love reading all your crazy stories about your love life! I hope that doesn’t sound weird, but I think they’re funny!