If Only I Drank…
Okay, I drink–if you count filtered water and herbal tea. A girl’s gotta keep hydrated.
But I want to celebrate. How do most people celebrate? By drinking alcohol, that’s how. That option is off the table for me…unless I want to be under the table after 30 years of sobriety. Yeah, no. Been there. Done that.
Seltzer water is a fine substitute. Don’t snicker, all you social drinkers who’d rather shake it up and hose your co-workers with the stuff than drink a celebratory toast with it. I reached a completely arbitrary goal yesterday and I want to make a toast with something bubbly that won’t get me toasted.
On June 8, 2011, I launched this blog. I was a blogging dolt. My only goal at the time was to have someone in the publishing world notice my clever posts before I dropped dead. I was going to ease gently into the pool of social networking, starting with the shallow end.
On June 9, one of my posts, “To Be Honest With You,” got noticed by the WordPress Overlords and it was selected to be “Freshly Pressed.” It would have been great if I had known what that meant, but I didn’t (hence, Blog Dolt). I thought that this was just something WordPress did for all new bloggers (hence, Queen of Blog Dolts).
I got 3,600+ views and 50+ subscribers on one day. So much for easing gently into the pool. I was blogging 4-5 hours a day. My new job was writing this blog and keeping up with other great bloggers.
Blogs, blogging, bloggers, blog-a-rific: these were the words popping out of my mouth at family gatherings, lunches with friends, cocktail parties, funerals. Ideas for posts were everywhere. I was passionate about my new calling; others worried about OCD, suggested therapy and tried to change the subject.
When I told my nephew that my blog “mysteriously” went viral (see how quickly I picked up cyber-speak?), he said blogs that have 10,000+ hits get noticed by “sponsors” and I could make a lot of money. Money wasn’t my goal; a publisher begging me to sign a book deal, however, was. So, 10,000 views in 3 months became my arbitrary goal.
To Do List:
- Generate 10,000 views by August 9
- Publishing industry discovers and adores me
- Publishing industry publishes my not-yet-written book
- Ellen and The Daily Show book me to engage in witty repartee about my imaginary book and real blogging
- Remain humble and grounded while wealth accumulates
Yesterday, August 7, Lorna’s Voice hit over 10,000 views–1 day shy of its debut 3 months ago.
Rhonda Byrne, author of “The Secret”, would say that achieving this goal is proof of the power of manifestation. I say it’s proof of countless hours of writing and editing, of developing a network of amazing bloggers who care enough about my zany life to keeping checking in, and of dumb luck.
So I’m raising a glass of seltzer water to all of you who made this possible and to my voice, finally unleashed.
If any of you know anyone in interested in publishing a quirky memoir, please direct them my way…