That’s Crazy Talk! Part 3, The End

I'm movin' on to the scrutinization of other anomalizations. In other words, see ya!

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a bit paranoid when I open my mouth. We all have linguistic tics and we all have pet peeves about other people’s communication habits. This is the last list of the funnier ones I’ve collected; then let’s call it a day. At least until something may or may not cross my path that’s so outrageous that, to be honest with you, I’ll have to share.

“To make a long story short…”:  Too late.

Excluding the infinitive verb “to be” making perfectly simply sentence a perfectly wonky sentence: I believe this is a regional dialect aberration, so it behooves the National Guard to go in to those areas of the country–and you know where you are–and do something about this. Examples: “These cookies need baked.” “This riffle needs cleaned.” I kid you not–people say these things. These people need educated about infinitives.

Saying “Whatever.” in response to nearly every question asked.: I don’t mean to stereotype, but… I’ve noticed that teenaged children answer their parents this way a great deal. Whatever could mean that you are truly an easy-going person, willing to go along with just about anything another person suggests. I mostly hear it used in a spirit of disdainful indifference (if that’s possible). “Would you like pizza or mac and cheese for dinner?” Whatever. “You’re grades could be better.” Whatever. “I’m thinking of giving you up for adoption.” Whatever.

Slang or trendy words accepted as part of our proper lexicon.: Language is fluid. We don’t, after all, speak like we are in a Shakespearean play. But take a look at just some of the words that are now a part of word-lovers’ bible–The Oxford English Dictionary: auto-destruct, autodial, bloggable, brain sucker, defriend, emotionalized, gender-bender, green weenie, jet-set (verb/noun), LOL, OMG, social network (verb/noun), and user-unfriendliness. The Oxford word gods may or may not be victims of brain suckerization.

“How are you? used as a greeting.:  According to The Cambridge Dictionary (another sanctified source), the custom of asking “How do you fare?” was a way of determining a person health status in the 1600s when a person was likely to drop dead during the conversation if it lasted too long. No response was required.  Today, this custom seems unnecessary. Most of us are fairly robust to endure the conversation and in this I’m-too-busy-to-breathe world, no one wants an answer to their greeting-question. Next time someone greets you with “How ya doin’?” or “How are you?” Try answering. “Well, thanks for asking. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and I think it’s because I need a new mattress. Either that, or the neighbors are fighting a lot. You know, there’s so much anger in the world today. That worries me…”

I’d better stop, I’m too emotionalized about this.

I you feel you need about more language gaffs, I highly suggest visiting kitchenmudge . This is one awesome (properly used) post and well worth the read!

I hope you had fun poking fun at the stuff that comes out of our mouths (word-wise, that is!). I sure did.

~ by Lorna's Voice on June 19, 2011.

11 Responses to “That’s Crazy Talk! Part 3, The End”

  1. I’ve added a sequel now.

    http://kitchenmudge.wordpress.com/2011/07/05/a-good-whine-i-believe-ill-have-another/

  2. Thanks for your perspective on this post. So “whatever” means you’re open to all possibilities? Interesting and good to know!

  3. My boyfriend hates when I say “whatever.” I understand what you’re saying. Teenagers, like myself, like to seem as if we don’t care about anything. In reality, we care about everything.

  4. Yeah, no, to be honest with you, I say “How are you” all the time as a greeting and cringe just after it leaves my lips. Whatever… Thanks for checking back into my blog!

  5. “Whatever” is my wife’s favorite response to almost everything I ask. It’s always with “disdainful indifference.” Drives me up a wall. (There’s one. What is driving me up the wall?)

    I have conversation about the “How Are You?” one every day. I work predominantly on the phone in my job. The conversation is always, “Hello. How are you ?” The truth is I don’t really care and I rarely listen. Sometimes when someone starts to tell me, I say something like “I don’t really want to know,” in a joking tone.

  6. You deserve it, my friend! Hope you get some traffic.

  7. Thanks for the mention, Lorna. Just mudging along over here…..

  8. Go for it! Trust me there’s tons of material!

  9. I’ve really enjoyed this series. I had all kinds of comments, but maybe I’ll save them to expand on my own blog (if I ever get one started). Thanks!

  10. I’m glad you appreciate the humor and the post! Thanks for reading my blog and taking the time to post a comment!

  11. This cracked me up! Being a former English teacher, I’m always hearing things that grate on my nerves. I just have to smile politely and pretend that the Earth didn’t shift ever so slightly. Great post!

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right?

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