Looking for “Love” in all the Well-Read Places, Part 2 and the End
I thought it was cruel to make you wait too long to see what happened between Creepy Tom Jones Look-Alike and his
innocent naive idiot Goodreads target (me).
When last we left the ping-pong emails, I asked “Dwayne” how he found me among the 11 million members of Goodreads.
At 5:12 he responds:
ii did a search and liked your picture
well if you dont like erotica, you probably won’t like me
Whoo boy. It was clear he didn’t even look at the books I had read. Wasn’t this a site for book readers? This guy was trawling gravatars and using “erotica” as a code word for “sex,” which I suppose it is. He found my gravatar, saw my blonde bangs and blues eyes and thought I was just another blue-eyed blonde desperately seeking anonymous S.E.X. and a good book to read afterwards.
Perhaps I should have ended it there, but I was raised to be polite. I never hung up on anyone…on purpose. (I can’t be responsible for Vonage and their propensity to drop calls.)
Not only am I old-fashioned, I’m old. Almost 55 to be exact. And I’m married [not technically, but what's a little lying between cyber-stalkers and victims?]. Given the situation, should I unfriend you or should you unfriend me? See how old-fashioned I am? I don’t even know the proper protocol. [My motto: always be nice to creepsters who could ruin your life in ways I can't even begin to imagine.]
His last response to me was at 5:42:
you should if you want to
wow married and you look hott for 55
i had a few older lovers who were married
but do what you feel best doing
That’s when I knew for sure he wanted more than just my mind.
Here’s what I learned from my experience:
- If you are looking to “hook up” in cyberspace, don’t limit yourself to traditional dating sites. Craft sites, home improvement sites, food sites–imagine the possibilities!
- If you’re not looking to “hook up” in cyberspace, pick a gravatar that is scary and make up a profile that reads like you’re the dangerous one.
- If you don’t know what cyberspace “hooking up” really means, and if you are still using the term “cyberspace,” have a long talk with one of you kids.
- The internet is like an ocean. There are guppies like me and there are sharks like “Dwayne.” To survive you need a savvy and/or a take-no-prisoners personality. Since I have neither, I’m totally sunk…or belly-up.
I filed a complaint with Goodreads, but they haven’t gotten back to me. “Dwayne” is no longer my “friend.” He unfriended me before I could unfriend him. So much for me doing what I feel is best. Is it strange that I feel a little rejected right now? Maybe if I imagine him as pukoid loser sitting in front of his computer all day in his messy apartment I’ll get over my feelings of being dumped.
Now I’m left with a decision. What should I do to prevent this kind of thing from happening again? Here’s here I need your help.
I await your response. My future writing and your future reading depend on it! No pressure…